Teddy Joseph

An end is set for everyone, for life is brief and cannot be recovered. But brave men, through their exploits, strive for fame that lasts.

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Here’s my statement on today’s violence at the Capitol.

[We keep us safe @thequeengeek]

A friend just said to me "Are we supposed to be working during the coup?" and honestly it was the most American thing I've ever heard.

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

the human has been working from home the last couple days. and every so often. they let me participate in the video calls. all the other humans cheer when they see me. i am the only thing holding their company together

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

Maryland's understanding of Racial History = We waited to join the right side till minutes before stronger powers would force us to, and are therefore, absolved of any further self-examination or scrutiny of past racial transgressions. Instead, just look at our cool flag...

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

So I don't use reusable bags at the grocery store bc I see it as an opportunity to get free plastic bags to pick up my dog's poop. Does anyone else do this? #thrifting

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

Quote from my cousin: “I’m 25. I need to stop meowing.”

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

Did anyone ever think that Tervis and Blender Bottles are the adult versions of sippy-cups? #tervis #blenderbottle = #sippycup

[UMBC Athletics @UMBCAthletics]

Well, it was fun y'all. KState may have won (50-43), but we hope to have won your hearts.

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

A simple thing that makes life worth living = the smell of my dog's paws

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

Humanity lost when we decided to stop licking our genitals #Hygiene

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

https://t.co/OfrzceFb8x

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

As long as the grass grows & the water runs I will exchange my $20s. Y? So Jackson will feel removed from the home of my wallet #indiangiver

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

Does anyone else fuck up the easy things you need to do to further succeed at the challenging things you want to do? #introspectivethoughts

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

I feel as worthless as a magikarp holding an everstone

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

When u are watching an emotional video in the airport and start tearing up so you lie 2 the person next 2 u saying u received grave news<<<

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

"I wish life offered me more drums."

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

Do you think my computer knows when I am going on Craigslist looking for a new computer...? Processing contempt

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

You have to die a few times before you can really live.

[Teddy Joseph @TedwardBroseph]

"Needles in your face, pleasure in your base!"