Tolu 🌚

Sunshine mixed with a little bit of hurricane 😉😝😀.... Instagram: Teelopss.

[S𝖎𝖗 S𝖊𝖆𝖓 🇺🇸 @seanpepisky]

I’ve seen quite a few comments saying, “Why did it take someone else explaining it before you understood what your girlfriend was going through?”

To be fair, I understand why some women feel that way.

But that’s not how things work with Men.

My girlfriend never hid her struggles from me. I knew she had painful periods. I knew there were days she was uncomfortable. What I didn’t understand was the full weight of it because, as a man, I’ve never experienced it myself.

Sometimes men and women process things differently.

A woman can tell a man she’s in pain, and he believes her. But because he has no personal frame of reference for that pain, he may unintentionally underestimate how severe it is. Not because he doesn’t care, but because he’s never lived it.

The conversation I had didn’t suddenly make me start listening to my girlfriend. It made me realize I had been underestimating what she had already been telling me all along.

There’s a difference.

One of the biggest lessons adulthood teaches is that caring about someone and fully understanding their experience are not always the same thing.

Sometimes understanding comes in layers.

And if I’m being honest, that conversation made me think about all the times she was hurting while still showing up for work, smiling, texting back normally, and acting like everything was okay.

A lot of women carry pain quietly.

I didn’t become a better listener because someone spoke to me.

I became a better listener because I finally realized there was more to hear.

[QUDUS(عبدالقدوس) @TherealQUDUS]

I’ll rather walk into mandarin

[Jola @Jollz]

My fellow Nigerians, I suspect that if, in your childhood, your parents went scorched-earth on every single infraction, big or small, the odds that you know how to regulate your emotions in your adult domestic life are slim to none.

[Supernans!💕 @epicenee]

"Vodka or beer?"

Me: Do you have Viju choco?

[Muna @Munalozy]

I have a phobia for feeling like I'm bothering people. ☹

[feyisayo 💸 @feyiszn]

How do I explain to people that I can just slip into my nonverbal mood and it has nothing to do with anyone.

[YUA @creative_yua]

My cousin has been in Canada for six years.
Every month, money lands in my aunt's account.
School fees, house rent, his younger ones' upkeep.
Everybody calls him the family's blessing.

He called last Christmas.
Laughing and asking about everyone.
He sounded fine.
I asked: "How are you doing over there?"
He said: "I'm managing. Canada is good o."

He visited two years ago. We killed a goat.
The whole family came out.
He was smiling in every photo.
Nobody noticed he had lost weight.
I noticed. But I didn't say anything.
I thought maybe it was the cold.

Last month, his friend called my aunt.
Said my cousin had not been eating well.
That some months he sends everything and keeps nothing.
That he cries sometimes. Alone at night.
That he had been doing this for years.

My aunt was quiet for a long time.
Then she said:
"But he never said anything."

...
Well, he never said anything.
Because nobody ever asked beyond "how is Canada?"

[LolA With The Duffle Bag... @L3galtool]

If you slap another person unprovoked, you have to be ready for them to strike you back.

If you strike a match stick you should be ready for the fire that comes with your actions.

[Fav ⛧ @Favwontmiss]

i saw a girl on tiktok who said "accountability is so important to me. nobody's perfect, but don't try to flip the script & make my reaction the issue when your actions lit the match" felt this to the core.

[Adaugo💚 @thestrictlylaw]

I personally made it a choice not to confront people I do not want to resolve things with.

If I like you, I’ll confront you so we can have a convo about it and deal with the issue, otherwise, please come and be going abeg.

[Olajiire 🇲🇦 @olajiire101]

We’re not kids anymore. Now my mom tells me her problems, and I hide mine so she doesn’t have to worry. ❤️‍🩹

[LolA With The Duffle Bag... @L3galtool]

It depends what state you are in Nigeria but if you’re ever in Zaria Kaduna state, please stop by Kola Bookshop and you’d be able to get these books.

That is my grandparents bookshop, you can tell them you’re from Lola and you will get a discount too.

🙏🏾

[Big Cuz @imohumoren]

More peole have been killed in Nigeria this year alone than on any country in active war since January

[Chicken Catcher🐔 @Only1Etubo]

What people do online because of monetization makes me wonder what they would do for money outside of social media.

Scary stuff.

[Toyosi Godwin @ToyosiGodwin]

There’s something about the whole reprove of “false accusations” that doesn’t seem to come from a place of hatred for the crime, but for women. Because why are you saying you will murder someone for false accusations? Do you know what murder is? Interesting o.

[RAYO @DatBarrackgurl]

To those who say false rape accusations against men are nothing, may God judge you. Amen🥹

If I remember correctly, I was in JSS2 or JSS3 at the time. It happened in our barracks. According to people who saw her, the girl ran out of a soldier’s room while adjusting her clothes

[Simi @SympLySimi]

Almost every woman I know personally has been sexually assaulted at some point in their lives. You can't think it's okay to shut people up from speaking up about assault because some people lie. If you lie, you should face consequences - but that's not the conversation I'm having. Nor is it one I'm interested in having. How many of your male friends have they lied against? How many of your friends have actually assaulted women as vibes?? Women are terrified to go out. Women in their homes are not safe either. Ask your sisters. Ask your female friends and your girlfriends. Ask your wives. We're not all crazy. STOP RAPING WOMEN!!

[Hauwa 🌟🌬 @Hauwa_L]

Women are raped everywhere. Women who have taken all types of precautions are raped. Women who are dead are raped. Women with trusted people are raped. Infants are raped. Children are raped. Yet, there are still questions of what you ��did’ to be raped.

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

Men want peace but then half of the time, the 'peace' they're begging for is silence while they misbehave.

[eisha 🍒 @meishato]

I remember watching a stand up comedian one day and he said, “you hear a lot about crazy ex girlfriend stories, mostly funny ones at that, but hardly ever any crazy ex boyfriend ones. Ever wonder why?” People laughed and he paused. “Because most women don’t make it out alive.”