Melanie Skinner

My views are my own - or stolen from those infinitely funnier than me

[alistair green @mralistairgreen]

It’s all over. World Cup over , Wimbledon over. Nothing to distract you but the terrifying reality of your own thoughts now. Never mind, it’ll be autumn soon where everything dies.

[Camilla Tominey @CamillaTominey]

Just too good

[James Melville 🚜 @JamesMelville]

“For fuck’s sake. Not another one. I’m off to get some milk.”

[Charles Watts @charles_watts]

Spend all you want on half-time shows, you can’t beat this.

[Bovril-Gesellschaft @BovrilG]

Ideal casting for The Odyssey:

Odysseus - Sid James
Telemachus - Charles Hawtrey
Eumaeus - Peter Butterworth
Penelope - Joan Sims
Calypso - Hattie Jacques
Helen of Troy - Barbara Windsor
The Cyclops - Bernard Bresslaw
Antinous - Kenneth Williams

[Blood Cancer UK @bloodcancer_uk]

We're wishing Lauren Laverne all the best following her diagnosis and thanking her for speaking so openly about smouldering myeloma. ❤️

Her story may be the first time many people have heard of the condition, so here's what you need to know 🧵

[England Cricket @englandcricket]

One of the greatest to ever play the game.

Forever in our hearts, Sir Garfield Sobers 🖤

[G. F. Allen @AuthorGFAllen]

Does anyone else keep buying really cool notebooks… and then never write in them because they’re just too nice to ruin? 😅

[j @Punished_TBlair]

If we win tonight Cundy's "has anyone seen Argentina" might be considered a declaration of war

[St Bride's Church, Fleet Street @stbrideschurch]

A candle burns as we remember Dermot Murnaghan – journalist & presenter @SkyNews – on our #Journalists_Altar who has died.

We pray for him, his family, friends and colleagues. May he rest in peace.
@DermotMurnaghan

[Craig Fairbrass @craigfairbrass]

Those 6 weeks summer holidays getting up early -tea and toast in the morning and the those iconic TV memories 🥲 ❤️😇🙏

[Richard Bratby @RichardBratby]

Watching La Dolce Vita. Everyone talks about the bit when Anita Ekberg goes in the Trevi Fountain but no-one mentions the preceding scene where she walks about central Rome with a cat on her head.

[𝕮𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖘 𝕭𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖈𝖔 @Chris_Branco]

Estou com medo de tropeçar na rua e a FIFA marcar um pênalti para o Messi.

[Greg Scott @GregScottTV]

31/08/1997
4.40am.
Hard to get across just how remarkably Dermot Murnaghan handled this breaking news.
He must have had absolute CHAOS in his ear - But like the proverbial “swan above the water”, his delivery and professionalism could not have been better.
Sleep well, legend 🙏

[David KC @DavidMuttering]

Lord Nelson, Lord Beaverbrook, Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Anthony Eden, Clement Attlee, Henry Cooper, Lady Diana and Maggie Thatcher all getting nervous right now.

[Tony Turner @tonytiger67]

The “DMC”in Run DMC stands for Danny Murphy’s Cat

[Burnside @BurnsideWasTosh]

I'm not sure how much more mental the UK can become. Poor Anne Widdecombe.

[Scarborough UK @Scarb1723]

GCHQ Scarborough (Irton Moor, on a hill overlooking the town) is the world’s oldest signals site. In May 1941, operators intercepted vital radio traffic from the German battleship Bismarck, triangulating its location so the Royal Navy could hunt it down and sink it.

[North East Heritage Library @neheritagelib]

God dammit, bring back tiled maps!

[Yuan Yi Zhu @yuanyi_z]

Lord Mackay of Clashfern, the last of the great lord chancellors, has died at the age of 99.