The Telton Herald

Leading source for all things Telton. If it's happening in town, we know about it.

[The Telton Herald @TeltonHerald]

@WildStanleyFC 6/🧵 .. Monday, when he has said he'll try to find 5 minutes to investigate the crater and shimmering planar gate that seems to have been left in the wake of the event. Needless to say,@TeltonFC will have a job on their hands to clean up before their upcoming @Footium fixtures.

[The Telton Herald @TeltonHerald]

1/🧵LEAD STORY TONIGHT: A terrible incident at Dawtria Road Stadium today as some kind of earthquake seemed to rock the ground during the U13's girls training session. Eye witness reports suggest that the girls' rhythmic counting accompanying a "one touch,one bounce" challenge..

[The Telton Herald @TeltonHerald]

@WildStanleyFC 5/🧵 Very interesting stuff there from Eileen. Regardless of any theories being shown around, the cataclysmic event has been noted by local authorities and is being treated as suspicious. The local constable is having a spot of IBS so the site has been cordoned off until ...

[The Telton Herald @TeltonHerald]

BREAKING NEWS: Ahead of the upcoming preseason, @TeltonFC grounds team have opted for an unusual aesthetic for the pitch mowing, having cut a 5-pointed star into the centre circle. A spokesperson from the club has assured us it is in no way linked to earlier cult rumours...

[The Telton Herald @TeltonHerald]

Ahead of the new edition released this evening. Field reporter Ben Chworma has been talking to locals, and has discovered a sharp spike in the sales of candle and incense sticks around the village. @TeltonFC

[The Telton Herald @TeltonHerald]

#footium #telton #MoretoCome

[The Telton Herald @TeltonHerald]

Disturbing reports around the village tonight, as rumours have begun circulating about the rising influence of a cult of some kind within the grounds staff of @TeltonFC ... More to follow in tonight's issue.