Jordan Ill

4th grade spelling bee champ

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

Extremely excited to announce that the subway guy knows my order now

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

Currently in email contact at work with a person named Pretti Shetty

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

@taylormade417 @CauseWereGuys I RT'd this a month ago hahaha

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

Our Uber driver got pulled over last night

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

My work email is Jill@StateStreet. Yeah, might have to change that

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

Rancho Grande leftovers in my eggs doe

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

Perks of my job using the international calendar: there is an international holiday today, so I get today off and 5 days off in May

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

Having to eat at earlier times due to waking up earlier really promotes fourthmeal at the end of the day

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

Me: "Want me to pick up Taco Bell for us?"
Mom: "Sure, just get me whatever's on special."

If only

[Mick Shaffer @mickshaffer]

If only there were more people in places like New York and Dallas and L.A. to counter the massive All-Star voting advantage of Kansas City.

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

Perks of having house showings: getting ihop while they're in my house

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

My dad is signing up for medicaire today. So old.

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

88 year old guy at the bank just said "Clean livin: I don't drink I don't chew and I don't mess with girls that do." New motto

[big liz @lizskret]

"It looks like you guys are in the doggy Super Bowl and kicked all of the puppies out." @ReidMBrowning

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

I would hope you do crossfit if you're a fat guy at the McDonald's drive-thru

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

@REIDmylips13 There's still no internet/cable so it's not even worth coming, my presence isn't entertaining enough

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

You know you've graduated when you start having dinner parties

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

There's a guy with a "Not even flexing" tshirt at the gym. I swear people get douchier by the minute

[Jordan Ill @Terminally__ill]

If anyone deserves this it would be Brett Lawrie https://t.co/VJ49wIUUt7

[MLB GIFS @MLBGIFs]

Doink. http://t.co/nHyJI0xUWn