toiletpapergirl

Is this thing on? 👩🏻‍🦰

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

I had a dream that I smacked Jeff Goldblum’s ass and quite honestly it may have been the best thing to ever not happen to me.

[abby govindan @abbygov]

proposing a 5th wave of feminism that’s like “ok we tried the whole ‘women can do anything’ thing and it turns out it’s true but now we’ve decided we just don’t want to”

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

If you went to NYC on St Patty’s Day at any point in your life, you should not be afraid of what’s in the covid vaccine.

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

If ya’ll ever see me posting my skincare routine on IG stories I give you full permission to call the police and take me away.

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

Worth the read. These parents need to be better.

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

Even whilst making a meatless burger I have anxiety about if it’s cooked all the way. Like it’s not meat. Why can’t I get the hang of it?

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

Life is really just tagging your friends in the comment section of a recipe video and knowing damn well that neither of you lazy pieces of shits are makin’ it

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

@y0mikeycap Same.

[blink-182 @blink182]

I couldn’t wait for the summer and the @VansWarpedTour. 📸 @fogagain

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

@PutAThorkInIt @katie_phenix LMAO ty for this

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

A cube of cheese a day definitely doesn’t keep the doctor away BUT it promotes mental stability bc cheese.

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

@bridgetkav It’s decided - I’m crashing your party.

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

How does one find roommates? Send help.

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

@opheliavespa That’s prob easiest! I’m looking to move out by end of the year most likely in the Monmouth County area!!!

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

I wanna be skinny but I really like quesadillas: a memoir.

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

I’m no sap but man when George McFly decks Biff in the face to save Lorraine I tear tf up bc that’s love.

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

Note to self: a spray tan is never a good idea.

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

Is anyone else watching the lightening happening right now am I the only one mildly concerned

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

It’s not a holiday unless your family finds a way to passively insult you.

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

@Goose933 SAME. Thank you.

[toiletpapergirl @TessPalumbo]

@harls_ A disgrace.