korbin would have to score the craziest goal ive ever seen in stoppage time of the final to win us gold and then kiss a girl on the field in celebration for me to even THINK about “embracing” her. please be serious.
Good news: My dog has not shit in my living room for the last seven days
Bad news: The Buffalo Bills have shit in my living room twice in the last seven days (on tv but same same)
Me: So my husband --
First grader: You have a husband?
Me: I do, the whole time you've known me.
First grader: Oh. I always thought you were feral.
Me: Er, do you mean 'single'?
First grader: Whatever the word is that you use for stray cats.
🙀