Jesse

Just here to see what Barack has been up to

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

Getting a Ring notification on your phone about someone finding a lost phone and your first thought being, "shoot I hope that's not mine"

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

@NBA statisticians be like "LeBron and Luka are the first two players to have a joint nickname and log 3 games straight together under a waxing gibbous moon and score 60 points as a duo wearing yellow with under 1000 left hand dribbles"

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

@NBA hosting All Star Weekend on Valentine's weekend every year puts all of the boys in a really tough spot ya know

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

I've got 99 problems and joint pain is most of them

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

You ever just say screw it and don't do the little rinsey rinse on an apple before you eat it?

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

Do you think in the plant kingdom that Bay leaves win every single game of hide and seek?

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

Did you know that there's no rule against smiling in your license photo at the DMV? It just so happens that by the time you get to the front of the line, nobody in the history of motor vehicles has been compelled to

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

@goatapp is THE place to sell if you want to have collectibles in your order stolen

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

I would be careful selling through @goatapp, someone in their verification department "couldn't find" a Kith wolverine card I shipped as part of an order and now they want to charge me to ship the shoes back after they stole from my order

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

@MaxxChewning I would fold this in half and eat it in 15 bites for like $100

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

@lynwatusay @eBay Great recc I didn't even realize I was. Thank you! A buyer scammed me for an item and over $1000 and @ebay will not help me in any way so I'm hoping social media helps

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

@USPS @USPSHelp is your customer support email address broken or is the entire agency pranking me?

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

Just signed into Twitter again wow you guys are really on here

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

Taking my mom to @JohnMayer shows every time he puts out a new album is a tradition that I'll never give up

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

Everyone is putting rubber bands around watermelons as if there's nothing to do anymore. Nobody works?

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

Nobody cares what you look like, just take care of yourself

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

You know what fuels me? The people we've lost. The thought that they don't even have the option to do the things that we're either procrastinating on or claim not to have the energy to do. THAT shit is the force that enables me to give so much more than anyone else

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

There's still something to be said about sitting around with your friends and talking about your dreams

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

@MaxxChewning Energy drinks ALWAYS taste good..but coffee hits different early in the day. Coffee by a furlong

[Jesse @ThatHumanJesse]

What's gonna happen when all of the waterfalls run out of water to fall