I once heard this: if someone says something that offends you while you’re right there, just look at them silently for about a minute. Then say, “That’s something I’d expect you to say.” And walk away. Let me tell you, I’ve done this twice before. You could literally see the blood drain from their face. This is and will always be my go-to. It costs me zero energy.
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU DECLARE
The moment you say you want to be great or kind, or patient, or strong, the universe doesn't hand it to you. It hands you every situation that requires it.
The missed flight isn't bad luck. It's the lesson arriving on time.
Habits I noticed in women who have genuinely healed
1. They stopped explaining themselves to people who had already decided who they were. They understood that clarity is not owed to everyone. Some people are not asking questions. They are building cases.
2. They have one standard they do not negotiate on. Not a list of rules. One deep knowing of what they will not accept. And that one knowing removes the exhausting daily decision of where their line is.
3. They feel the grief and they name it out loud to themselves. "I am sad today." "I am scared today." That one sentence creates just enough distance from the feeling to keep it from becoming their entire identity
4. They stopped trying to heal in the same environment that wounded them. They changed the inputs. The people. The conversations. The content they consumed. They understood that you cannot think your way out of a room you have never physically left.
5. They allowed the anger. They did not perform forgiveness before they had processed the rage. They let the anger do its sacred work of showing them what they would never allow again.
This Nigerian lady who teaches at a school in Japan broke down the Japanese style of learning that makes them very intelligent and productive.
I think this is smart learning. It will be helpful to Nigerian students, if it is adopted in our educational system.✍️
Girls will survive abuse, heartbreak, grief, and unspeakable tragedies and still navigate through the world with kindness and compassion, but one minor inconvenience in a man's childhood and he spends the rest of his life terrorizing and poisoning everyone around him