John Larkin

Y/A author of The Shadow Girl etc, guest speaker and workshop presenter.

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@Robbsthoughts @SummersAnne Maybe set Denzel Washington, circa Man on Fire, after him. A little strategically inserted Semtex works wonders in the behaviour modification field apparently.

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“I am not going to the inauguration, and you can’t make me.”

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Pauline Hanson on Sky News is like the Third Reich interviewing Joseph Goebbels.

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Social isolation? I thought that was the term we used for that kid we went to school with who ate Perkins Paste and celebrated the Queen’s birthday by blowing up cats.

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Those who believe that their chances of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse increase exponentially if they race out and purchase industrial sized amounts of toilet paper, are the sort of people whom Darwinian natural selection would, in times of yore, have removed from the gene pool.

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@shanelle_swag22 Hi Shanelle
Sorry for this late reply. I haven’t checked the account in so long but better late than never. I hope you are in a better place and keep seeing that life is def worth living and remember to keep reaching out.
Cheers
John

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The recent diatribe from Fuhrer Trump inviting the four Democrat Congresswomen, from culturally diverse backgrounds, to go back to where they came from, is a timely reminder that we must not allow the poison of right wing monocultural extremism to seep into our collective souls.

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I just realised tonight, to my utter amazement, that my toothpaste comes with instructions. I tell you what. When you find yourself living in a society whose toothpaste manufacturers find it necessary to fit their product with instructions then we are done. It’s f&%king over.

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Dealing with Optus would make even Gandhi reach for a flame thrower.

Actually, having just spent an hour dealing with Optus's call centre, I have reviewed my position.

Dealing with Optus is like beating yourself over the head with a hammer. It feels good when you're dead.

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The egg bounced off Scott Morrison’s balding pate like a stone skimmed across a pond, proving conclusively something that many of us have long suspected – many of our politicians are cyborgs.

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If the Montenegro fans booed ALL the England footballers it could be described as harmless banter. That they only booed the black players is brainless bigotry.

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@annabelcrabb "At this point, it might be worth asking whether there is anything in the world that would disabuse One Nation, as a party, from its steadfast tendency to assign character tendencies to human beings on the basis purely of their headwear." Literary gold, Ms Crabb

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I just received an unsolicited text message from Clive Palmer saying that UAP will ban unsolicited text messages if elected. And if you look up irony in the dictionary right now, you will undoubtedly see Clive Palmer's Tim-Tam bloated face grinning at you.

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If Peter Dutton becomes the new Prime Minister today or whenever, rather than the usual swearing in waffle to the Governor General, I would prefer to hear him recite some Vogon poetry. Because, well, let’s face it…

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Aldi shopping list:
Milk
Eggs
Bread
Parachute
Ostrich farmer starter kit
Toothpaste

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I misspoke. I meant to say I, “How much wouldn’t could a wouldn’tchuck chuck if a wouldn’tchuck could chop wouldn’t?”

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Because I consciously don't keep up with the Kardashians, I was unaware that Kim Kardashian insured her backside for $US21 million. The mind boggles. What could one possibly do to one’s posterior that would require twenty-one million dollars’ worth of corrective surgery to amend?

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How is it that a man, with an apparent history of violence, is able to have registered firearms in the suburbs of Sydney? At what f*%king point did we turn into the U.S.?

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Apparently Tony Abbott wants Australia to withdraw from the Paris Climate Change Agreement… and join the Flat Earth Society.

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Archbishop Wilson. You were supposed to protect children, not the vile specimens of humanity that preyed on them.