Andrew Fischer

[Andrew Fischer @TheAFischer]

Join me!
Join me!
Hey, I'm playing Castle Clash! Come join me and let's kick some ass! https://t.co/eF2EuisFmH

[Sweet texts @SweeetTexter]

I'm happy with the people in my life right now.

[Andrew Fischer @TheAFischer]

Enchant all the men with your new sexy figure http://t.co/O79czmfcsz

[Glen Quagmire @quagmireparody_]

Things I suck at:
1. Being attractive.👩
2. Being normal.😳
3. Relationships.💔
4. Texting back.📲
5. Math.📖
6. Life.😒

[Football Posts ™️ @TopFBPosts]

Since Tony Romo is so familiar with picks, shouldn't Goodell be letting him make the announcements?

[please read bio! :) @iHunterHerring]

*When my name's in a math problem*
Class: *stares at me*
Me: That's right bitches, I bought 60 watermelons.

[Andrew Fischer @TheAFischer]

Pregaming before the club!!! It's gonna be a good night!! #itsgonnabelegenwaitforithopeyournltlactoseandtolerantdary

[Andrew Fischer @TheAFischer]

Smoke pot? Why don't you grow up and do coke like an adult. -Daniel Tosh

[Andrew Fischer @TheAFischer]

If the braves make the playoffs I'm getting my braves tattoo!!!!

[Glen Quagmire @quagmireparody_]

My alarm clock is clearly jealous of the amazing relationship I have with my bed.

[Football Posts ™️ @TopFBPosts]

New York Jets visited an Orphanage today. "It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope" said Steven, age 6.

[Andrew Fischer @TheAFischer]

@TheRock just got done seeing it!! Awesome keep the hits coming #keepsonbringingit

[please read bio! :) @iHunterHerring]

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.

[Andrew Fischer @TheAFischer]

@KevinWDean did you see where welker went? I'm so excited!!!!!!!

[idiots @idiotsdoingshit]

Girls who pretend to act stupid because they think it's cute need to be fucking slapped.

[Glen Quagmire @quagmireparody_]

Dear Tummy sorry for all the butterflies. Dear Pillow, sorry for all the tears. Dear Heart, sorry for all the damage. Brain, you were right.

[Glen Quagmire @quagmireparody_]

RT if you can speak fluent sarcasm.