I will never judge anyone who has ever been “swindled” by those beautiful, smooth-talking women from the coastal region. They have been taught since wakuwe teenagers na ma shangazi wao the right buttons to press ndio mwanaume “atoboke” without even knowing. Kwanza ukiwa diaspora, huwa wameshinda game by first half; they know uko na njaa and you are extremely vulnerable.
During video calls, mkienda kuachana, she sets her phone kwa ring light, then anapanda kitanda kama amevaa dera yake, turns around, and dances romantically to Taarab for you, her soft “nyash” trembling and pointing at you directly. Then anamalizia na, “I wish ungekuwa hapa nami, Mpenzi!”
Ndume unaskia umeishiwa na nguvu, unajipata umeingia Sendwave and wire “facilitation” to her immediately bila kuulizwa, vidole ikitetemeka.