AwkSquadGoalz

Sometimes I tweet things. Sometimes I just Tweet the Stuff my husband says.

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

@JesseCox @FF_XIV_EN @PolyarcGames What a fun detail!

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

I don’t appreciate the fact that I threw out my back the other day in the most @korndiddy way possible. I was trying to button my pants…

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

@WildMiko And wildly inappropriate when you find out the actor who played the dad was creepy to under aged girls.

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

@ShawnMcBreairty No see. That patchy ass facial hair is a choice. Or is it as uncontrollable as appearing on a podcast with a documented pedo and yelling and “hard core anal sex” at a school meeting where children are present.

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

@ShawnMcBreairty The Rogaine might work if you didn’t pull your hair out every time you see a rainbow. It must be hard for you to eat Skittles then.

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

@sonic_hedgehog

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

My main takeaway from #SonicTheHedgehog2 was that even though they tried to make James Marsden look scrawny by putting him in baggy clothes, when he flexed his arms he gave away the fact that we have been thirsting after him since OG X-men. A for effort tho.

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

@faerypit You literally cannot be this fucking stupid. It’s a painted toy. Not actually the cats doing you idiot. Maybe actually watch the videos instead of icing the shin splints you got by jumping to conclusions.

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

Nothing was broken, it was just a metal plate and screws clinking together. But that driver was ready to dive into the trenches for the sake of consumer satisfaction. Train more people like that, @FedEx

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

I can honestly say I’ve never had a good experience with @FedEx until today. I feel so bad I didn’t catch the driver’s name. But he came up to the door to personally express his concern with the clinking noise he heard in the box for fear the item was broken.

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

If you enjoy what I do, please support me on Ko-fi! https://t.co/5RUs6WuwOP

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

@ConnortheBinder bruh

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

“Fumbling the baby Jesus. Better than Fiber.”

#shitmyhusbandsay #RandomThoughts

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

“You can’t kinkshame Ancient Greece.”

Later....

“What would be harder to kinkshame, Ancient Greece or Late Rome? Rome did some fucked up shit dude”

#shitmyhusbandsays #RandomThoughts

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

“This old house is haunted. Are you brave enough to post this picture of Bob Veela?”

#shitmyhusbandsays #RandomThoughts

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

"Benvolio is just the guy who says ‘here’s how it went down’. All I’m saying is he’s no Mercutio"

-My husband explaining who is the better friend to Romeo

#shitmyhusbandsays #RandomThoughts

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

@HenryLovesYou I just started watching Tiger King. I have opera training, and I promise he’s not singing in those clips. His throat isn’t moving. If he was singing and not lip syncing, you could see the vocal cords shift a little.

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

@guy_mont @Tim_Batt @davidfarrier @josephmoore1 @LauraDaniel25 @chelsieflorence @guywilliamsguy Every day @Tim_Batt looks more pained while @guy_mont is living his best damn life.

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

@Mort3mer Mine is interesting 🤔

[AwkSquadGoalz @TheAwkSquadGoal]

@guy_mont @Tim_Batt @davidfarrier Why do you guys hate yourselves