𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃 ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴼᵂᴹᴬᴺ

[𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐈𝐋 @KingOfWoodElves]

@TheBargeman It was no problem.
He was only speaking the truth.

[𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃 ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴼᵂᴹᴬᴺ @TheBargeman]

@KingOfWoodElves Thanks.

[𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐈𝐋 @KingOfWoodElves]

Bard the Bowman looked really pretty.

[𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃 ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴼᵂᴹᴬᴺ @TheBargeman]

@KingOfWoodElves He could not admit to being the same height as Gollum. It was unacceptable. So as any Lake Monster would, he grew to challenge the Elves. He even grew a little extra when Thranduil stopped being Twila the Chief.

[𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐈𝐋 @KingOfWoodElves]

@TheBargeman He thought Nessie was extraordinary.
Yet he says it’s completely natural. He was unaware lake monsters had such exceptional abilities. Nessie was rare. None like him existed. He had never seen anyone grow to challenge an elf.

[𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃 ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴼᵂᴹᴬᴺ @TheBargeman]

@KingOfWoodElves Impressive? He thanks him, but that is not the case. It is completely natural for a lake monster to change size and form. It’s part of being mythical and remaining unseen.

[𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐈𝐋 @KingOfWoodElves]

@TheBargeman Urdu, he sees. And then he begun speaking an Indic language closely related to Hindi but written in the Persian script, instead of saying yes like a normal elf.

But he admires his tactics, the lengths he went to just to grow were impressive.

[𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃 ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴼᵂᴹᴬᴺ @TheBargeman]

Bard may not have been the sneak, but he certainly was the cheat.

[𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃 ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴼᵂᴹᴬᴺ @TheBargeman]

@KingOfWoodElves Aye. He used the box when he didn’t feel it necessary to float and push others feet underground.

[𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐈𝐋 @KingOfWoodElves]

@TheBargeman Perhaps he understands how being 6’0” would allow him to better look after his son’s hair… and how it would allow him to challenge them but what purpose does it have being his new permanent height? Would he still need that soapbox?

[𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃 ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴼᵂᴹᴬᴺ @TheBargeman]

@KingOfWoodElves With all due respect, King Thranduil, he was not pretending. He had to grow, or how was he to challenge them? He grew to be 6’0” tall so he could properly challenge Legolas. And so he could properly be his hairstylist.

[𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐈𝐋 @KingOfWoodElves]

@TheBargeman Very well. At least someone knew what he was trying to say.

Nessie was his biggest supporter. Thanks to him he would no longer be Darren Criss the Chief and for that, he had his thanks. But a problem still remained. Why had Nessie pretended to be tall, taller than his son?

[𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃 ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴼᵂᴹᴬᴺ @TheBargeman]

@KingOfWoodElves No, it’s all right. He understood well enough what King Thranduil was trying to say. But he had his support. He stopped by to let Thranduil know that he looked a lot like the Indian Chief if he were Darren Criss, and that he should try being a Sage instead.

[𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐈𝐋 @KingOfWoodElves]

@TheBargeman No me was listening?

No me? Fucking retard. Ignore him. He was an idiot.

[𝐄𝐋𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐈𝐋 @KingOfWoodElves]

@TheBargeman Good. He had been crying and no me was listening. The nerve!

[𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐃 ᵀᴴᴱ ᴮᴼᵂᴹᴬᴺ @TheBargeman]

@KingOfWoodElves Aye. Nessie would offer King Thranduil his full support then.