Barney Stinson

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

@EthanCripps my name is Barney Stinson

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

#ImThePersonWho has had sex more than the average person will in their lifetime.

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

#ImThePersonWho lives the life you wish you had.

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

People need to stop asking me for shoutouts, your not getting one unless you blow me or send me nudes. So guys are
fucked #EndOfStory

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

@VerucaJames do it and take a picture

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

@MySexBangz I'm sure you can figure it out.

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

Just bought two 10.1oz bottles of lube... This should last me at least a week

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

#WaysToIrritateMe don't put out.

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

#WaysToIrritateMe cock block

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

#ThreeWords my big dick

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

#ThreeWords in your ass

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

#ThreeWords suck my dick

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

Have you ever noticed even ugly chicks look kind of hot with a load on their face. #PornStyle

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

Any of my followers played the rodeo? Next time you're having sex, tell them "your mother was better" and see how long you can stay inside.

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

Sorry I haven't been tweeting lately guys. This chick has been stalking me so I'm to busy dodging her.

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

@GICHILD1 you didn't follow the new number one rule of the browser code, follow back.

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

#WhatReallyTurnsMeOn a subservient woman, and willing to do anything for me.

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

@JoVRiet there's a tweet I put up, retweet if you do or favorite if you don't.

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

#DumpHisAssIf. He has a tiny dick, in the mean time the barnicles is here for you!

[Barney Stinson @TheBarnicles]

#WhatTurnsMeOff hairy chicks. That shit belongs on your head and no where else. Buy a razor!