The Compassionate Capitalist 👹

I care for my workers better than they can care for themselves!

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@melioda72660667 @MacD25354148 @ChrisDJackson Yes, yes, kick those filthy rabble rousing fools from the party. I need to feel comfortable donating my spare millions to either party! How else am I supposed to play them off of each other?

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@MorningBluberry @MacD25354148 Wonderful! Granted, I would never subject my own children to this kind of thing, but the hoodlums at the charter schools I embezzle from really need their interest measured carefully. Perhaps we can find a way to administer shocks too!

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

I think these developments are rather exciting! On their own, my workers are prone to such misinformation, and given to such bouts of unhealthy rebelliousness.
I applaud Mayor Michael for helping me to monitor, inform, and benevolently guide all those under my care.

[Michael Brooks @_michaelbrooks]

A High-Tech Coronavirus Dystopia https://t.co/eFjCyTBkyp

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@captpraxis I would never discriminate against an applicant on the basis of their beliefs. Not even against you terrible rabble-rousing disgusting socialists, whom I would never hire in a million years!

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@AOC Do I detect sarcasm? They're just trying to brighten the lives of the little people. Besides, respiratory illness has been a real boon for my pharmaceutical stocks, and the longer this pandemic lasts, the more "small business" handouts I receive. Thank you, JetBlue!

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@johniadarola Mine is truly a story of rags to riches. I traded in the Rolls Royce my father left me for a Maserati. The tiny 12 bedroom house I grew up in I sold and purchased 5 penthouses and a modest mansion.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@ProudResister As if Trump and the centrists weren't transformative! My dear Joe transformed my life years ago by stopping that infernal busing that was eating into my real estate returns. He also did much to make my credit cards interests profitable. And Donald! Sweet Donald! What can I say?

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@MacD25354148 Abolish the police!? Absurd!!!
Without the police, who would evict my tenants? Who would keep my workers from just taking over my businesses?
The police provide an important service. So what if they need to blow off a little steam once in a while?

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@LeonydusJohnson @AOC Yes, I always think it's best to let the little people think that there is some huge divide between the rich and the legislators. Le't keep that secret between us.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@KyleKulinski The very idea of paying workers $24 an hour makes my skin crawl.
Crises like this one are supposed to help owners like me take advantage of our workers not the other way round.
Let's hope this can be yet another hurricane Katrina or great recession.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@krystalball @ReadeAlexandra Why wouldn't the powerful man get to set the terms of the debate?
I deserve every bit of power my money buys me. I earned my money through hard work and a couple dozen million that my father gave me to start.
Don't blame my dear friend Joe for reaping the rewards of hard work.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@bluefyretyger @SallyAlbright AOC is a meddlesome twit! Do you know how much I stood to gain from those tax breaks for Amazon that she and those whiny workers stopped? Do you know how much I could lose if anything approaching her Green New Whatever got passed?
Low I.Q. isn't the half of it.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@MacD25354148 @BetaRayBob1 @Hamlinnite @SallyAlbright Ridiculous! Joe, Donald, Nancy, Mitch, we're all such wonderful fr...
No, no, ignore him, @BetaRayBob1. They have nothing in common, you really should take the side of one or the other, nothing to see here.
I'll be back with more followers once I hire a new accountant.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@MacD25354148 @BetaRayBob1 @Hamlinnite @SallyAlbright Fool! His politics are just fine, you disgusting prole-pleaser. I may not agree with his criticism of my good friend Donald, but Joe is a dear friend too, and any friend of either is a friend of mine.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@MacD25354148 @BetaRayBob1 @Hamlinnite @SallyAlbright No, no, he's got a point. I have been meaning to hire someone to create followers for me, but money for my social media ventures is funneled from my charities, and I had to fire my head accountant for asking too many questions. No money, no followers.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@IamLuisGuzman @unidiot2002 No double standard, here.

Standing rock protestors brutalized: my petrol stocks go up.

Michigan protestors encouraged: my restaurant stocks go up.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@mjbrezinski Yes, yes, now you can all go back to work for me! I've had my eye on a new yacht.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@Leftist_Cat @mjbrezinski @mariahdekkenga @Bel_Biv_Devos @thehill Classist insults are the best kind!
My father used to let me fire the housekeepers so I could learn about the importance of self-reliance. Young people like you don't learn those lessons anymore. That's why you're poor, nothing to with the "neoliberalism" you whine about.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@adamjohnsonNYC More anti-rich bias! Without the rich and powerful, you would have nothing, so be grateful! We own you because we deserve to.

[The Compassionate Capitalist 👹 @TheBenevolent]

@battletested5 These brave men are risking grave inconvenience to ensure that my stock portfolio can rebound.
Special thanks to the legislators I own who have limited cash assistance to working people, thereby making this protest possible.