TheMurph

aka Bark Zuckerberg

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

Fell asleep playing with my iPad again. #TeddyBearProblems

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

Cruisin' down the street...Where my bitches at? #YOLO

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

#MarchMadness has made me tired. Time for a nap...

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

Respect the Murph! MT @RomoBall: Whatcha gonna do, @Linda_McMahon when Chris Murphy & all the Murphymaniacs run wild on YOU!!! #TeamMurphy

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

I got an exclusive look at CHEAT by @BillBurr @JoeDeRosaComedy & @RobertKelly at http://t.co/gw3UU6xR#truecheat http://t.co/t1iTNBPu

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

I licked myself. RT @Fustercluck3: If you're a major league ballplayer with the last name Murphy, odds are you hit two homers today.

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

Congrats to my buddy Baxter who will be returning to the big screen in #Anchorman2! #StayClassy

[Johnny Honesty @JohnnyHonesty]

Denis is a master of language, comedy, and the Bandwagon RT “@denisleary: FUCK THIS ASSHOLE. #STOPKONY

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

If common courtesy has "gone to the dogs," why don't people hold doors open for me? #PuppyProblems

[New York Mets @Mets]

22 days until Spring Training!

[Chris Mad Dog Russo @MadDogUnleashed]

The marquis!

[Bryan Liberty @Bryan_Liberty]

How lazy are we as a culture? Even Page-A-Day calendars take Sundays off

[Bryan Liberty @Bryan_Liberty]

If you want to be Governor you have to start acting gubernatorial

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

I graduate from obedience school tomorrow. Marley from "Marley and Me" is giving the commencement speech. #IMayHaveEatenMyTassleAlready

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

@mashable You clearly aren't following @TheRexRyan. Not only is he one of the funniest fake accounts, he's one of the funniest period!

[Bryan Liberty @Bryan_Liberty]

How come Christopher Reeve don't make anymore Superman pictures?

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

@Bryan_Liberty What about puppies that are actually hit men themselves?

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

@BoomerandCarton The show is so much better without the ADHD gerbil with the big suckhole.

[TheMurph @TheBigMurphy]

@CraigMacCormack Definitely real. His good friend is a reporter from his hometown & quotes his tweets in print A LOT: http://t.co/k2ag5tTF

[Bryan Liberty @Bryan_Liberty]

...but he was no longer just a cow, he was now The Cow That Saved Christmas. The End.