glorified paperweight

Caution: Contains Hot

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

At the nail salon connected to my own wifi 💁🏼‍♀️

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

Sipping on a warm monster I opened 2 days ago in a different country

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

My ex: "hey do you recognize this man by his ass"

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

Aparently I've developed a super power and its stopping the gas pump right on the dollar

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

Deep fried squab

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

"Guys, dont do what your brain thinks"

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

European disco biscuit from the 90s

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

You know what? I may be in the sick room at crankdome. But at least. Im not dead.

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

Hey google can I give my dog a nerds gummy cluster

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

Toobsnoot

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

Its not dementia, its dark chocolate

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

Online clown college is only $529

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

"I kinda fucks with disco chilli pepper"

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

"I didnt realize it would cost me my nipple"

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

No one at the k mart knows about my baloney

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

I think Jason Nash is in line behind me for the bathroom

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

"Wanna go halvsies on the abortion??"

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

Let nature do the job I don't want to

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

Just schlurpin' at the local lake

[glorified paperweight @TheBweeb]

The snails the worms and the frogs are having the time of their fucnin lives right now