CakeAlmighty

Has met OVER three dogs! (they/them)

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

I don’t trust babies they’re all tax evaders

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

Can rich people stop literally using people as decorations at parties. I’m tired of seeing women dressed as bushes on housewives

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

This video of Zavaleta prescribed out of her mind is KILLING ME 🥹😂

https://t.co/mamzmt6VQM

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

I think if you stop your World Of Warcraft subscription for a bit, when you come back the NPCs should act like animal crossing characters do when you’re gone for a while.

Like “Oh I guess my life wasn’t worth 15 dollars a month 😔”

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

Getting back into streaming finally - Watch me at https://t.co/7nJnwPksQ8

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

@Emerald_Storme You’re pranking yourself 😭

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

@StandPig Three years later I still KNOW hot dr. Pepper is a big prank

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

If you used to wrap fruit roll ups on your finger and suck on them I hope you’re in jail

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

Now that the strike is over can we all finally talk about how Disneyland has free tampons in their bathrooms now. I did abuse that privilege, but if I’m paying for admission I’m taking home my weight in them ‘pons

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

@A_Blank__Canvas werk

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

Announcing “nurses always say I have great veins” doesn’t attract dick the way I thought it would :(

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

the moment my child grows a millimeter above my height, they’re switching to being parent. I’m the baby now sucker.

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

Short people have kids so they can feel tall

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

I like to think I ate a few miles of fruit by the foot in my day.

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

I have a hard time believing Australia existed before 1995

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

Mario was in a fraternity, Koopa Koopa Goomba.

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

Being rich is trashy let’s be honest

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

Are vampires cannibals? Discuss.

[CakeAlmighty @TheCakeAlmighty]

@beatsattack James Cameron horny as hell