Eric Cartman

Whatever! I do what I want.

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@JMadio_ You have no goddamn authoritah.

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@JMadio_ Geez, why don't you just wash dishes or get pregnant or something?

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@AustenNovakovic No matter what I say, Kyyyle is mah friend!

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@MaryLiiBarahona What are you, homophobic?

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@RosieErikson I'm gonna kick you squa in the NUTS! #roshambo

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

F*** you, Cupid Me! Tee hee hee, f*** you!

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@Nikka_2toe Thanks a lot, and just, you know, stay away from my man, bitch.

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@TheRemixMaster Damn straight!

[Ranker @Ranker]

@TheCartman The people have spoken & voted Eric Cartman the funniest TV Characters of All Time! Nice work, you guys http://t.co/eyAEu9uE

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@AliciaPremeaux Do you have any idea what it's like? Everywhere I go, "Hey Cartman, you must be real, right?" I am NOTHING like the fakers!

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

Do you know what happened to the last people Germans were pissed at? Tell them, @southparkpics.

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@Falcon_freak_1 Somebody's gotta eat all that bacon, freak. Might as well be me!

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

When a chick says "We need to talk," you might as well start punching yourself in the balls, dude.

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

I need to get stupid, @ChrisRockParody. I'm getting all the blood to rush to my head and watching a marathon of Two and a Half Men!

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

RT @MelaaMMM: RT IF you love @TheCartman

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@hooplandin AY! You don't have any authoritah! Why should I?

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@rogerleewhite Oh yeah! Are you gonna eat all of your Cheesy Poofs, Roger? Aw, you don't want all that, why don't you share it with me, neh?

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@javifanclub Kick ass.

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

@rogerleewhite What are you doing in South Park, Roger?

[Eric Cartman @TheCartman]

AY!