Colin Schmidt

Husband. Father. Dog Dad. Minnesota Sports Fan. Retweet ≠ endorsement. Sleep is just a time machine to breakfast.

[Geiger Capital @Geiger_Capital]

Shut up, nerd. 🇺🇸

[Spencer Pratt @spencerpratt]

Happy INDEPENDENCE Day!

It’s not just a number on a calendar. It’s a celebration of a miraculous experiment in freedom and self-governance. A rejection of tyranny and communism. Be proud. We are the champions.

God blessed America. Truly.

[Collin Rugg @CollinRugg]

Drone operator sends 2,500 drones into the air for a drone show celebrating America's 250th birthday in North Richland Hills, Texas.

"...For America 250, we celebrate in style!" said Sky Elements Drones.

Remarkable.

[Mistress Dividend @mistressdivy]

“If you want to hate America, watch the news. If you want to love America, drive through it”

~German World Cup fan

[Catholic Bitcoin Crusader ⚔️🇺🇸⛪₿ @PaxAeterna]

Look, we’re not Alabama or Georgia — those are the Frances, Argentinas, and Brazils. Blue-bloods with 5-star recruits since birth, multiple rings, and generational QBs (sorry, strikers) who make it look easy.

USMNT? We’re that spunky Group of 5 squad (Boise State with the blue turf vibes) that just went 2-0 in the group stage, clinched the “conference title,” and now gets a juicy home playoff path. We’re +3300 to win it all — basically “there’s a non-zero chance if the stars align, the blue bloods stub their toes, and our special teams (goalkeeping) don’t implode.”

We beat Paraguay like a directional school and shut out Australia like they were Vanderbilt on a bad day. Now we’re hosting at Levi’s Stadium with 70k screaming fans who actually know the fight song. The round of 32 looks like a gimme (Bosnia who?), but then Belgium shows up like a pissed-off Michigan in the quarterfinals.

Winning the whole thing? That’s Indiana Hoosiers national title territory — historic, glorious, and your group chat loses its mind. Most likely we make a fun run to the quarters or semis, everyone calls it a “moral victory,” and we still brag for the next 4 years.

But hey… stranger things have happened on the blue turf.

[Gabor Gurbacs @gaborgurbacs]

If you took $1 Trillion from Elon (assuming it was cash), it would run the U.S. government for 49 days. Not even 2 months.

The U.S. doesn't have a billionaire/trillionaire problem, it has a spending problem.

[Sam Monson @SamMonsonNFL]

Aaron Donald owes it to science to unretire and line up next to Myles Garrett just to see what would happen.

[Libs of TikTok @libsoftiktok]

X truly is the most incredible place on earth

No words

[Spencer Pratt @spencerpratt]

COME AND TAKE IT

[Frank Michael Smith @frankmikesmith]

I made a sports geography game where you're asked to pinpoint locations of 5 questions. I'd appreciate if you gave it a shot

https://t.co/sI14JX9Arc

[Dana Wessel @DanaWessel]

Tomorrow is a rare night where all three of my college roommates and myself will be in the same city. Can't wait to get home from dinner and my wife asks me for updates on their wives, kids, jobs, etc. and I will report back that I have absolutely no idea.

[Daniel Berk @danielcberk]

Spotify needs to release a “kids” setting so I can play all the songs my kids listen to without it affecting my own Discovery algorithm.

Insane that I can’t do this already.

My Discover Weekly is just nursery songs and Moana.

@Spotify please fix this.

[Colin Schmidt @TheColinSchmidt]

@unrlco @Nick_Svac @mnwild @BrayUnes30 time to win!

[UNRL @unrlco]

We’re giving away the ultimate UNRL x @mnwild Playoff Experience for Game 3 on 04.22.

You will receive:
+ 2 Club level tickets
+ 2 Limited Edition UNRL x Wild Hoodies
+ 1 Signed Quinn Hughes Jersey

To enter:
Like, RT, & tag a friend. Must be following to win.

1 Winner from Instagram, X, or Facebook will be announced April 21st. No purchase necessary to enter.

[World updates @itswpceo]

BREAKING:

🇺🇸 This is the greatest Rescue operation in history of America.

48-HOUR RESCUE INSIDE IRAN
HOUR BY HOUR

APRIL 3
- F-15E Strike Eagle (Viper 21) shot down by Russian missile over southwestern Iran.
- Mach 2.8 intercept, proximity fuse detonation.
- Both crew eject successfully.

HOUR 0
- Pilot recovered within minutes by ground team.
- WSO lands alone, injured (broken ankle), deep in enemy territory.

HOURS 1-4
- WSO starts evasion using night and terrain.
- IRGC launches massive manhunt with drones and dogs.

HOURS 4-8
- Thousands of Iranian civilians join the search for bounties.
- U.S. jams Iranian radars and communications.

HOURS 8-12
- WSO climbs 7,000-ft ridge despite injury.
- U.S. strikes crater roads to block IRGC reinforcements.

HOURS 12-18
- WSO reaches ridge top, hides in rocky crevice.
- Makes first brief radio contact with friendly forces.

HOURS 18-24
- A-10 Warthog shot down by Chinese MANPADS.
- Pilot safely recovered by naval assets.

HOURS 24-30
- Two HH-60W rescue helicopters hit by ground fire during attempt.
- Crews wounded but return to base.

HOURS 30-36
- U.S. escalates with cruise missile strikes on IRGC air defenses.
- WSO survives near-miss drone strike, relocates under fire.

HOURS 36-42
- Nighttime full extraction launched.
- Special operations teams insert and engage IRGC in firefight.

HOURS 42-48
- WSO located, stabilized on site, and extracted under heavy fire.

APRIL 5 — EARLY HOURS
- WSO pulled out alive and conscious.
- Both F-15E crew members safe.

[Paul Charchian @PaulCharchian]

What have the fans done wrong to break the relationship, and why do fans have to do anything to repair it? We paid for the Pohlad’s stadium. We drank their $15 beer. We paid their ticket service fees. We devoted time and care to substandard rosters. We’ve done plenty.

[Ethan Brooks @alt_w_v_g]

Got a letter from the HOA yesterday

Actual letter

In an envelope

With a stamp

In 2026

The letter said my trash can was visible from the street for too long on collection day

The fine is $50

I checked my Ring camera

The truck came at 7:03am

I brought the can in at 7:14am

11 minutes

$50

That's $4.55 per minute of trash can visibility

My therapist charges $250 an hour

That's $4.17 per minute

My trash can sitting in a driveway is now more expensive per minute than therapy

I looked at the letter again

It was signed by the HOA president

Her name is Karen

Of course it is

I know this woman

She lives four houses down

She still has Christmas lights up

It's March

I know because I drive past them twice a day

And because that's what I do

I checked the HOA bylaws

All 47 pages

Section 4.2 says all exterior fixtures and lighting must be seasonal and removed within 30 days of the applicable holiday

Her lights have been up for 97 days

I went to the HOA meeting

Tuesday night

7pm

In a church basement

Folding chairs

Fruit platter that nobody touched

Seven people showed up

Four of them were on the board

The other three were there to complain

I was there to read

My wife came with me

She didn't want to

But she said "if I don't come you'll end up on the news"

I brought my legal pad

Karen called the meeting to order

She talked about community standards

She talked about property values

She talked about the importance of curb appeal

From a woman whose Christmas lights are still blinking in March

I raised my hand

She said "we'll take questions at the end"

I said "it's not a question. It's a point of order."

She looked at me

I opened my legal pad

I said "Section 4.2 requires seasonal decorations to be removed within 30 days. Your Christmas lights have been up for 97 days. You fined me $50 for 11 minutes of trash can visibility on collection day while you've been in violation for over three months."

The room was quiet

One of the other three complainers said "he's right"

The board members looked at each other

Karen said "that's a separate issue"

I said "it's the same bylaws"

She said "we'll review it"

I said "I already did. Page 12. Happy to share my highlights."

My wife looked at the ceiling

Some things never change

Karen said "I think we should move on"

I said "agreed. I'll move on when the Christmas lights do."

Nobody laughed

I wasn't joking

I paid the $50

Because it's $50 and I'm not going to die on that hill

But if the rules apply to me they apply to everyone

So I filed a formal complaint about the lights

With photos

Timestamped

Funny how surveillance works both ways

The fine for seasonal decoration violations is $75 per occurrence

She's been in violation for 67 days past the 30-day grace period

I'll let her do the math

Or I'll do it for her

Because that's what I do

Make common sense common again

Plz fix. Thx.

Sent from my iPhone

[Dom Lucre | Breaker of Narratives @dom_lucre]

🔥🚨BREAKING: A “Unity Statue” of the group of boys, who were strangers to each other, that formed a human chain to save a dog rushing waters at the same place of the event.

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

High Point’s win over Wisconsin called by Student Radio.

This is why we love March

[Khan 🧢 🌟 @Khanstilldayy]

Back when sitcoms used to be really fun to watch 😅