The Ways of Life

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

When Bae ignores you

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

Hey 😆

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

Best kind of laughter: Laughing so hard your laugh becomes silent.

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

Ordered 4 drinks at McDonald's so they wouldn't think all 50 chicken nuggets were for me.

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

I'm not saying your child is ugly.... I'm just saying you will never have to worry about pedophiles.

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

Parents: "How was school?" Me: "Okay" Parents: "Why do you always give me the same answer?" Me: "Why do you always ask the same question?"

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

Basically 💁

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

🔋100% 😃
🔋90% 😆
🔋80% 😁
🔋70% 😏
🔋60% 😅
🔋50% 😬
🔋40% 😐
🔋30% 😥
🔋20% 😧
🔋10 % 😫
🔋1% 😱🔌🏃💨

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

Goals

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

When the whole squad together

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

I'm Iron Man 😎

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

You don't really know someone until you get ridiculously drunk with them.

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

"EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!"
*Answers phone*
"Hi mom."

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

Me: *Gets to school on time, does all my homework, follows the rules, rarely goes out* Parents: You're fucking out of control.

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing here?" I'm like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

I would win American Idol easily if they let me bring my shower on stage.

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

6th grade conversations: hey hey wats up nm wbu same cool so who do you like

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

I live for two reasons:
1) I was born.
2) I haven't died yet.

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

Me: Ok just need one more... Kid: BINGO!!! Me: NOOOO! SHUT UP MOTHERFUCKING CHEATER!

[The Ways of Life @TheComedy_]

All my life I thought air was free...until I bought a bag of chips