Each decade is defined by a zoo monkey
in 2016 there was Harambe, who cursed us with 10 years of bad fortune.
and now there is Punch, who will bless us with 10 years of good fortune.
Charlotte: the way Isabella barked? so degrading!
Samantha: I don’t know, pup play is all the rage for the gays, why not let a girl play fetch?
Miranda: Calm down, Fido. Heel, stay!
Carrie: Big’s moving to Wuthering Heights
Just spent 30 minutes talking to the manager of this Mexican restaurant I often go to, he’s asking what I do, what do I like to do for fun, said he likes my bracelets, showing me pics of his recent trip to Cancun and then says my wife…
the new 7 deadly sins are
Gluttony (phone addiction)
Greed (doordash)
Envy (FOMO)
Sloth (Cancelling plans)
Lust (polyamory)
Pride (thirst trapping) and
Wrath (ragebaiting)
My favorite thing ever is watching all the men running around Manhattan with bouquets of flowers today. Don’t let the internet fool you. Love is alive.