ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑

I’m a web dev living in New Orleans | He/They | Profile pic by @rosalarian

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

I have no motivation to seek out another way to get my needs met because I want what I don’t have access to and I don’t want to go through the process of trying to find someone that matches me in that way again

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

I want to *want* to date again but I feel like I’m stuck in limbo. My last relationship ended bc he did not have time to devote to me due to family, housing, & career stuff. We’re still head over heels for each other…

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

The circumstances will change at some point, hopefully, and we can resume. But that still leaves a place where my needs aren’t getting met and I’m having a hard time trying to find another way to get my needs fulfilled because I want what I already had.

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

I just committed a crime in Tomato-eating on this Tomato my roommate grew in our backyard On par with denethor and the cherry tomato but Gods it was soo delicious

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

I really 💜 dress & no pannies season

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

Got to hold his pp while he pp today. Dreams do come true.

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

God I just want someone who shows up for me like I show up for them

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

ISO: an owner to adopt me like a house cat. I provide my presence and you proved everything else

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

It’s a high nerves/high anxiety day and I just wanna hug and to be baby.

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

I want to cry. I want to create. But I have things I need to do that I had to put off in lieu of survival that I need to focus on now and I don’t wanna

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

I can work a packed schedule for 3 days and make sure I still get rest and social time but the minute it’s done I have no idea what to do with myself. Today I spent 3 hours on my bed just scrolling fb. I have more things I definitely need to do

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

But here I am, almost selectively frozen because i don’t have any momentum to take advantage of. When I don’t have momentum I just roll back to the bottom of the hill, like Sisyphus’ Boulder just having reached the top.

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

Really love the fact that if I don’t take my meds immediately after waking up and then following with caffeine & food, I am basically useless the rest of the day

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

Had a dream about you. Woke up so happy to be with you again only to realize that I had been dreaming

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

I need some coke and I’ve already got half a bottle of wine and then I can finish cleaning my room

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

I hope you don’t think I’m cute anymore

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

The downside of chasing hyper focus is sometimes you spend an hour hand washing your backpack instead of folding any of the clothes you need to put away

[ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ 🗑 @TheEnsignRo]

Ugh I wish I had someone I could call to just come over an eat it. I wish I wasn’t scared of strangers hurting me. I am horny and tired and I don’t want to put in a lot of work but alas