The Goddess of Alchemy

If wishes were horses, I would always ride 😈✨✨

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Some 🥷🏿 give me the serious ick 🤢

Learn how to read a f*cking room… my Gawdddd 😩😩

Like… a nuclear holocaust is imminent and a 🥷🏿 will still want to f*ck.

The f*ck??? 🙄🙄😑

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Husband cheats.. wife files for divorce….

He then moves in with new gf, stalks ex wife, stops taking care of kids, stops paying bills, threatens violence…

Yet… cheating hubby blames wife for breaking up the family

Make it make sense 🤦🏾‍♀️🤡

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Too many men are dying alone in nursing homes now, it’s alarming 😱

The question is why? 🤔🤔🤔

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

My 🐱 is like pink cocaine. It is highly addictive and it might kill you if you can’t get enough 🤣🤣🤣

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Eating cup noodles at 2am with chopsticks is my new guilty pleasure 🤤🤤

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Lawwwdddd… I just saw someone eat a whole Chipotle bowl with a serving spoon…

May God save all the big backs🙏🏾😩😩

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Theory: Marriage is glorified xes work
Experiment: 100 wives decide to go celibate for 6 months

What do you think the result of this experiment will show? 😂😂

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

I have learned how to always choose myself first in everything I do in life, especially in relationships, because I learned from the best…

MEN 😎

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Ok… so I’m a fortune teller now?

Wild!! 😂😂😎

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

The only thing Tinubu can contribute to my life rn is making T-pain decide to come out of retirement and give us one last concert. 😩😩

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Women will always choose the bear because at least it won’t try to manipulate, gaslight and grape you while trying to off you permanently 🤷🏾‍♀️

Then play victim after 🙄

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

One thing I realized common in happy, loving, long lasting relationships is that struggle usually brings out not only the best/worst sides of the couple but in a way that it makes the relationship stronger afterwards. 😊

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Making JPG look like SHEIN is NASTY WORK! 😭😭

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Where do yall find these men 😭😭

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Which US city has the most scammers?

Trying to see something 🤔🤔

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

I will take a bad marriage any day over having a kid with a bum ass 🥷🏿

Yall hoes be hustling backwards fr

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

lol yet men are not emotional 🤣🤣

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

Me… carry man on my head?? 🤣🤣🤣

I would gladly swim in an active volcano first 🏊🏾‍♀️🏊🏾‍♀️😊

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

I get sooo annoyed when I go to a new store to buy lotto tickets and the attendant not only asks for my ID at my big age, but scrutinizes me and my ID before letting me get one. 😩😩🙄

At the same time, I’m like yeah…. Black don’t crack b*tch! 🤣🤣🤣

[The Goddess of Alchemy @TheGOfAlchemy]

My lil bro literally just told me he’s f*cked cos he grew up around very naturally beautiful women so his standards are so high and most of these girls can’t make the cut 🤣🤣