Simon Evans

Oh boy is it getting rough, when my old world charm isn't quite enough.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

Ah, well here goes. #trollingtheguardian

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

Je ne sais pas.

[Stuart Macintosh @stueymaco]

Why is the Ivory Coast being referred to as Côte d'Ivoire by the English commentators?

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@BStardAlan @CamillaTominey @UxbEconomist07 @TheGreenParty @MothinAli They could maybe change the logo to a swastika.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@y_alibhai Did their family, friends, local officials and the police themselves try to cover it up? As analogies go, this is bad even for someone as hard of understanding as you. And maybe you've missed all the calls for the death penalty to be brought back for filth like them. Idiot.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@HeidiBachram They arrested him "as a nurse"? Wait, he was in his nurse's outfit? On a flotilla?

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@ukvillafan @DoubleDownNews @PulaRJS It's a fact free organisation he's running, so presumably he'll just double down. Seems absolutely obsessed with Jews too. Can't imagine why.

[Mia Hughes @_CryMiaRiver]

Things are just going from bad to worse for WPATH, and you can be sure I'll be raising a glass to this excellent news tonight🥂

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

Well done England.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@screenisemovie Some fine choices there, but it's not even a contest.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@joshxhowie Perfect.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@nigelmp That sounds like a load of bollocks, Nige. It really does.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@zarahussain999 Who do you think England is for? What about China? Who is that for? Nigeria? Pakistan? Israel? Palestine??? Just joking about the last one, obvs.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@66Steph82 😆

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@66Steph82

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@YisraelChaiAdam @FUDdaily Please tell me this is a parody.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@AaronBastani @Marikacobbold No, but committing it whilst trying to influence government policy absolutely does. Textbook definition.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@badgers_back It's also BS. Airbnb don't allow councils to rent and sublet for social housing.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@aerendian This is BS. Totally against Airbnb's policies to allow a council to book and sublet as temporary social housing. It is in their terms that the person booking must also be the person staying.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

@thisisyourparty So what you're saying is she's now facing the consequences of her illegal actions, and the sentence is strong enough to deter other morons from doing the same thing?

[Matt Van Swol @mattvanswol]

Cute theory, let's play it out.

A monkey hoards a trillion bananas. The troop, enraged, beats him to death. They gather around the pile to feast at last.

But... oh wait, there is no pile.

It turns out the "bananas" were shares in a banana-launching company the dead monkey founded.

The shares were worth a trillion because he was alive to run it.

Now he is dead and the stock is worth $0.

The retarded monkeys have clubbed their way into a recession.

But it gets worse.

Half the "bananas" were tied up in a rocket that supplies bananas to monkeys on the far mountain who had no bananas at all.

Another chunk was tied up in a little satellite dish that beamed banana coordinates to the troop after a flood took out their trees.

So now they realized they beat to death the only monkey who knew how the dish worked.

So the monkeys sit there.

No bananas.
No rockets.
No coordinates to get more banananas.

Just a dead body and a powerful sense of fairness as they all now became infinitely poorer.

OH

And somewhere a smaller monkey watches the whole thing and quietly decides he will never build anything in front of these animals again.

[Simon Evans @TheHevo]

News just in: it was "akin to a colonial crime".

[John McEvoy @jmcevoy_2]

I spent all day in Woolwich Crown Court yesterday for the Filton activists' sentencing hearing with my colleague @daniaakkad.

The court heard that the Terrorism Act was never intended to cover direct action protest.

It heard that all of the defendants had been cleared of violent intent and sentencing them as terrorists would mark a historic first for charges of criminal damage.

It heard that the Suffragettes, who did "a bit of smashing themselves", would have been labelled as terrorists but have now been vindicated by history.

It heard the activists' goal was to stop the supply chain of drones and weaponry to Israel as it commits genocide in Gaza.

It heard that attaching a terrorism connection to a case without it ever being heard by a jury was unconstitutional and posed a threat to the criminal justice system itself.

It heard that the "terrorism connection" has been disproportionately used against minority groups and those advocating for them while not being used for neo-Nazis and white supremacists, including the man who killed Jo Cox MP.

It heard that the law has been reinterpreted since the action took place, meaning the activists could have had no idea that what they did could have been caught up in terrorism laws at the time of the protest.

It heard that the prosecution submitted key evidence just eight days before the hearing, giving the defence no time to review it or even discuss it with their clients.

Despite all of this, Judge Jeremy Johnson, who has already tried to refer the defence's lead barrister for contempt of court and been forced to apologise for it, sentenced the defendants as terrorists.

The judgment was handed down within minutes, indicating Judge Johnson had already made his mind up before the hearing had begun.

Being in court yesterday felt akin to witnessing a colonial crime: punishing activists with terrorism offences in order to set a precedent that taking direct action to stop a UK-backed genocide will not be tolerated.