The Dowager Countess

What is a week-end? One is, after all, a parody of oneself.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

This isn't charades, this is the game. Life is a game in which the player must appear ridiculous.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

#MayThe4th be with you, dears.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Timeline cleanse

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Text from Cora:

“Are you popping by for Thanksgiving? Mrs Patmore’s making my favorite holiday dessert recipe from the underside of the Cool Whip lid.”

Not replying.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Dear America,

A reminder to stay on your best behaviour. One can always recolonise you.

Regards,
The United Kingdom

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

What is a parody?

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Paying for a little blue check at this point seems very middle class.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Twitter is rapidly approaching the point beyond which even Lord Grantham could have run it better.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Current mood.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Sybil: Granny, you don't really want things to go back to the way they were, surely?

Me: Of course I do. And as quickly as possible.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Rest in peace, faithful servant.

[The Royal Family @RoyalFamily]

The Queen died peacefully at Balmoral this afternoon.

The King and The Queen Consort will remain at Balmoral this evening and will return to London tomorrow.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Sybil: Granny, you don't really want things to go back to the way they were, surely?

Me: Of course I do. And as quickly as possible.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Text from Cora: “It’s National Drink Wine Day, shall we get started early this evening?”

Me:

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Busy day. Luncheon with Cora. Scowl at a commoner. Tea with Isobel. Criticise the help. Dinner at Robert's. Chastise Edith. Home. Bed.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Isobel: I think she’s splendid.

Me: I think she’s cracked.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Me: You weren’t the first drunk in that dining room, I can assure you.

Branson: Only the first Republican.

Me: Well, you’ve got me there.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Isobel: I like the new fashions. Shorter skirts, looser cut. The old clothes were all very well if one spent the day on a chaise longue, but if one wants to get anything done, the new clothes are much better.

Me: I’ll stick to the chaise longue.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

You know me. Never complain, never explain.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Susan McClare: Am I just expected to be a good loser?

Me: It’s too late for that, my dear, far too late.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

Isobel: Servants are human beings, too.

Me: Yes. But preferably only on their days off.

[The Dowager Countess @theLadyGrantham]

It’s the job of grandmothers to interfere.