Fritz Bernaise

kneel.

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

Everyone say happy birthday to my 14 year old sister!! Then pray for her tutor.

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

I FAKED IT. EVERY TIME. But that’s alright! I can hardly feel anything at all.

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

A man will spend his money on everything and anything except therapy

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

You’ve got a nine to five so I’ll take the 11-4 so I get there after you but get to go home before you.

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

I am the greatest cigarette smoker of all time. And it’s not just me that says it. Sports illustrated says it.

[Watching Wrestling WTSO @WW_WTSO]

Jade Cargill vs Rhea Ripley

WWE Wrestlemania 42 19/04/26

(Song: Another Life by Motionless In White)

#prowrestling #wwe #wrestlemania

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

“Friendship flashback!” And it���s just your nudes.

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

“I’m a Jim Carey Purist”

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

Depressed absolutely, but just two more crash outs away from my goal weight

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

“Well you know what they say, NEVER waste a Wednesday night on a seventh date”

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

If you’re going to get a devastating text, make sure it’s at your first day at your new job with your manager staring directly at your laptop screen.

[jynx @jynxbby]

"you're talking to him again?"

god forbid a girl has no self respect

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

“There is no conceivable way a Smurf is three apples high”

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

If you know someone watching The Summer I Turned Pretty, they are not okay. Their brain is rotting from the inside out.

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

A nerds gummy cluster would have sent my ancestors into orbit

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

To be fair, I felt bad for his wife and kids before he got smoked.

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

I absolutely hate it when my gods forsake me.

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

If at first you don’t succeed, you try your Visa.

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

Commonwealth Avenue is the new hot spot.

[Fritz Bernaise @TheLaurax69]

Me looking to get taken away: “Excuse me Cowboy, how much is a one way?”