Captain Curt

Just ignore me.

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

Used to not understand the stigma people have with liberal arts colleges. Now I go to one and I’m like “Oh yeah it all makes sense now.”

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

Fuck am I supposed to do? Tell Mr. Spooky to stop?

[adam @shukran___]

wyd in this situation ?

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

Have y’all seen how expensive caskets are? When I die bury me raw

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

A bear-sized raccoon would be the scariest shit ever.

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

Someone did a presentation on how Amongus is like Macbeth. College is neat

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

Y’all ever just be crestfallen?

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

My campaign platform: take all the asphalt from sleep bumps and use it to fill potholes

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

Customer: what’s your seasonal fruit dessert this time of year?

Me: Ma’am it’s winter.

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

@sarahschauer Teach me this power

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

I saw some guy sitting in front of me watch 3 whole episodes of Star Wars: The Clone Wars during my 9 A.M.

College is kinda cool.

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

@sugarmommyemmy Can you give me Oklahoma?

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

Someone cash app me Rn.

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

What does corn taste like?

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

Self sabotaging at its finest.

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

This is Cat Soup. A game in which cats make soup. Peak joy

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

Do you guys think “dude” is a gendered pronoun? Because to me, everybody’s a dude with the right vibe.

She’s a dude. He’s a dude. They’re a dude. We’re all just dudes.

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

Fuck TikTok crackhead energy. I want the real shit. Go snatch some car batteries, poop in an alleyway and harass some passerby’s. Match the real crackheads

[Captain Curt @TheMiddle_Kid]

She ain’t left you on read, you left her speechless. Hit them dms again big dog