Molly Meister

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

After the show, ended up at a one year anniversary party at #Kaya #sf #datenight

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

Started out #datenight by sitting across from a homeless guy on the train. "I mean, I am a cool, woke guy. But I am also a heroin addict" #sf #BART

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

Ordered our intermission drinks ahead of time. Because of course we did. #datenight #avenueQ #nctcsf

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

Just answered someone who was talking on a Bluetooth headset and that's why I never respond when people talk to me.

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

@fireballgranny . . . Yes

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

I put @BlueDiamond smokehouse almonds on my salad today, and I think that adding delicious crunchy bits may be the key to having a satisfactory salad experience.

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

@Bradlaphone So far the contenders are #vosslerlife and #vowtobevosslers

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

My cousin needs a wedding hastag. Vossler is the last name, Becca and Colton are the first names. Help?

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

Me (typing): how to be satisfied with
Google: life, your salary, being single, yourself?
Me: . . . a salad

#saladsarentsatisfying #whydoikeeptrying

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

On the way to the Slayer show with my BF. Stopped at a random bar. Playing Lamb of God. It's like they can sense each other. #metal #psychicmetalheads

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

The guy who delivered booze to us. #karenisnolongerdyingofthirst

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

This is a picture of Karen dying of thirst. #whyhasntshebroughtoyrdrinksyet

[Night Vale podcast @NightValeRadio]

He drinks a whiskey drink.
He paints a sausage link.
He sues a skating rink.
He makes a falcon wink.

[Kim Kierkegaardashian @KimKierkegaard]

A stain on a dress can be removed with the right cleaner. On a nation,it's harder.

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

Kinda mad, because I just spent like $15 on a salad for lunch and I'm still hungry because salad sucks.

[Kim Kierkegaardashian @KimKierkegaard]

I'm going to my 20 year high school reunion tonight, to see if my philistine-bourgeois peers remain as bereft of imagination as when I left them

[Molly Meister @TheMollyMeister]

@janeesmith_ I saw this as I was writing with my new sparkly gel pen. So true.

[Kim Kierkegaardashian @KimKierkegaard]

People say your brows should always match your hair, but I actually think it's more flattering if they're dark like your soul

[Astro Poets @poetastrologers]

Week of 2/4 in Scorpio: You are having fun. This is not exactly the time to be having fun. But who is brave enough to stop you. You will keep moving and moving towards laughter like comedy is your new religion. Do you even believe in humor. You tell us.