The Moon

I'm the Moon, the ultimate space ball. They/them 🌛

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

Fun fact: if you stare directly at the sun, you'll go blind. If you stare directly at me, you'll cum a bit. #moonlove #thursdaythoughts

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

@TheTweetOfGod Darker than my dark side

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

@SkyNews There are no racists on the moon

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

Or we could ban racists cunts instead

[Piers Morgan @piersmorgan]

I think it’s maybe time to ban our Princes from marrying American women.

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

In case you’re wondering, this is what my bum looks like

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

Wish you would all stop staring at me

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

@AlexGaskarth Fatty acids in sunny d I’m afraid. That and glue

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

@brierley_di How should I know? I’m a moon not a travel agent

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

Things you do not get on the moon:

Tax
David Cameron
Mrs Browns Boys
Paperclips
People who start sentences with So

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

@yun_head Moon

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

Jupiter has like 79 moons and they all have iPhones. I’ve got a Nokia 3210 with a detachable cover cos I’m not a sheep

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

Please stop staring at my moontits

[Kazz 🍉✊ @KazzJenkins]

I was born a female. I identify as a female. But according to Tesco's sticky toffee pudding I'm a family of four.

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

Can’t talk right now doing hot moon shit

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

The moon has generously arranged for those that trolled captain Tom to take a trip to the moon’s best friend, the sun 🌞

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

The moon has applied to Harvard. And now, I wait

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

Good news: there is no Mrs brown’s boys on the moon

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

Uranus.

That is all.

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

I’m totally over the moon, said Io after we broke up without a hint of irony

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

@TheTweetOfGod No.

[The Moon @TheMoonTweeter]

The moon is here live. The moon is not a cat