Sniveling Idiot

Katie. 24. Terrible music. Horrible stuff.

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I love a doodad. A thingamajig.

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My dad made my cat her own sloppy joe and now she has wicked meat farts THANKS DAD

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I love a good TV time lapse of a pizza to show that it's a little later in the night than the second before

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Can my mom talk to your mom?

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I want to go to sleep, then I want to go to bed then I want to take a nap when then I want to wake up and go to sleep

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How come my cat never pets me?

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Fuck mind control, I want bladder control.

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Why do syrup bottles have handles? How lazy are we?

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Oh god I shouldn't have eaten that onion last night

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"MORE FARTS! MORE FARTS! MORE FARTS!" (My dad chanting)

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"Whenever Guy Fieri eats I think of you." -Dad

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Still

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Fantasies: avenging Bobby Baccalieri, fixing my broken toe

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Update from 5 years later: it will ❤️

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Is going to the podiatrist going to change my life?

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"If it's not tight at the ankle.. what are you even doing?"

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Also this is the first year I Missed Chris Knox' birthday in like 4 years. Shame on ME.

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Test Icicles "For Screening Purposes Only" still like... HOLDS UP

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My airbnb hosts are out selling hay #montana

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Why the fuck does "Happy Birthday" have to have that fuckin high note in it? Embarrassing us all. Just tryna be nice not sing like a cunt

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It's so weird looking at my friends here and knowing that not a single one has ever had any sex education.

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When you wear a @FlyingNun shirt pretty much every day