Mike Ratner

No regrets that's my motto, well that and everybody wang chung tonight

[NFL Rumors @nflrums]

TRENDING: #Saints DE Cam Jordan says the #NFL needs to bring back taunting.

“I get a sack on the quarterback, give me five seconds, put the spotlight on me….let us celebrate. It’s okay to taunt. Bring back taunting. Let me talk my sh*t.”

[Sam Morril @sammorril]

That no call is payback for the 4 years 71 mill Tim Hardaway Jr stole from the Knicks

[Wyer @wyermush]

Torpedo bat, bodega cat, Devers is fat…

YANKEES IN 5

[The Lord of Leisure @LeisureGod69]

Me and my wife’s best friend’s husband

[The Sopranos Guy™ @uncle_june]

Every time I watch Tony Soprano open the refrigerator

[Mike Ratner @TheRatnar]

Thanks @machinegunkelly for spending 2,584 minutes with me in 2022. I couldn’t stop listening to ay! (feat. Lil Wayne). #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/oSTOcAs4gs

[Bernie Sanders @BernieSanders]

Donald Trump believes climate change is a hoax. Donald Trump is an idiot.

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

I hope I'm not the only person at Easter Mass dressed as Arya Stark.

[chris long @JOEL9ONE]

Keep pumping the booze ads, guys. You’re doing great!

[David Harbour @DavidKHarbour]

666k
Of this tweet.
Big Red officiates. Full Gear. In his saintly best.
Impossible number?
Think of how difficult it will be for me to get this character ordained by a Christian church😈🙄
(P.S. - I’ll knock off 500k if you can get @artofmmignola to read a poem at the service)

[Mike Ratner @TheRatnar]

Walnuts taste like a nut farted in your mouth #HardFacts

[Mike Ratner @TheRatnar]

I wanna see a dance off between @OffsetYRN and @BlocBoy_JB. Someone make this happen now!

[MLB Stats @MLBStats]

.@ClaytonKersh22 becomes the 2nd fastest @Dodgers pitcher EVER to 150 wins.

[Mike Ratner @TheRatnar]

@DemYAnksSquare @YG Stay Dangerous

[Mike Ratner @TheRatnar]

@DemYAnksSquare @YG Stay Dangerous is better...just sayin’ 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Mike Ratner @TheRatnar]

There is currently a woman drinking a corona on the subway at 8:15 in the morning. Idk if I’m in shock, jealous, or just impressed 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Tony Posnanski @tonyposnanski]

Lebron James has done more for education than Betsy DeVos, more for charity than Donald Trump, and more for inner cities than Ben Carson.

Maybe Washington should shut up and dribble.

[*:･ﾟ✧ reese *:･ﾟ✧ @reesereganyt]

America is more proactive in banning plastic straws than guns lmao

[Mike Ratner @TheRatnar]

The fact that @GQMagazine referred to Travis Scott as a “rap god” is easily the most absurd statement of the year