the real cat witchy

Fun-loving patriarchy destruction. comedy. not really a cat. a human. #witchwoke

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

Does a like count as a thing that will prevent your Twitter lurk from getting deleted Im not really sure but this should do it pls note it is not ai generated bc no self respecting bot would eschew all punctuation k folx its been occasionally real keep it up see u outta da cloud

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

I just watched some solid SNL eps after a long (personal) hiatus and am listening to some bangin’ zoomer pop music and it almost seems like we fun-loving degenerates are back in the game and low culture is fun again amirite or just high on leaving the house? #vaccinesanddreams

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@itsalsoshaydes I wish I could have articulated the point this perfectly when quitting cheerleading after one year at age 14.

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@boburnham

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@emilynussbaum I had to start it over immediately after the first watch just to hear that opening song again. The music is all so solid!

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@wearyourshaydes In lieu of hoping for his death, at my house we have a running gag of casually and convincingly saying “oh, trump died!” to each other every time we look at the news. Nice loophole, eh?

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@wearyourshaydes Are you familiar with the fabulous german term backpfeifengesicht? If not I hope his face shows up when u google it, for reasons that should soon become obvious...

[Shomari Stone @shomaristone]

BREAKING. Mob of Trump supporters swarm the media near the US Capitol. They yell what Trump frequently says, “the media is the enemy of the people.” They destroy equipment and chased out reporters. I’ve never seen anything like this in my 20 year career: @nbcwashington @MSNBC

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@msdanifernandez

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@maddow Twitter must be broken it’s not letting me like this 100000000000000 times so weird

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@wearyourshaydes I’ve definitely let the paw print ones slide a couple times but a dog in a Santa hat?! Humane society, are you tryna get me evicted in a pandemic???!

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@wearyourshaydes I use those for my rent checks but the cat isn’t ~on the lease~ so I cut the animal pictures off so as not to arouse suspicion...

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@wearyourshaydes Dude skip the dvds from streamers but hearing this I’m pretty upset that no one has sent me art supplies nor snacks in this recession. But my own popcorn?!?! Maybe SAG members got kicked off screener swag lists the same day our health insurance got fucked HEYO!

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

I don’t normally condone being rude even to a rude but this is as satisfying as when that nazi got punched in the head which was also more satisfying that I’d like to admit lol bye

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Gonna watch this on a loop

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@JeffreySconce But only you can administer a sick burn in retaliation

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@wearyourshaydes If it makes you feel any better, our coach once sat in a chair outside my hotel room door all night to make sure I didn’t sneak out and bone Spain, which I was obviously going to do. I was in model UN for the right reasons for sure.

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@wearyourshaydes “You know, the Middle East, those guys basically agree about everything”

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@wearyourshaydes lol best part of that story is that “Middle East” was a model UN delegation

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

@wearyourshaydes At least when you played Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego they gave you a handy book with all the info a sleuth could ever need. I remember learning the word “Peruvian” this way.

[the real cat witchy @TheRealCatWiley]

I haven’t written a sketch since the last election. I recently came across a goodie I wrote in October ‘16: an outlandish video sketch about Trump & Kanye both running for president & riding around in helicopters &the election being a TV award show so yeah https://t.co/M8bivtG7Mh