my unhealthy therapy account

Tally of pussies who’ve blocked me after starting shit they couldn’t finish: 8 + @MaRy_JaNe1209 & @niceblackdude because I called them on being ai

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

I’m going to put this on my profile because people should know how common and fucked up this is.

I’ve been raped 3 times by 4 men. The first time I was in high school and drinking with two guys I considered friends and good guys, and I got too drunk and they both raped me in the car while I said no no no no no over and over. One of them came to my locker the next day and literally apologized for raping me.
The next one was in college where a drug dealer I’d never met before drugged me and I woke up to him fucking my unconscious body. I freaked out and hid and curled up in a ball in his shower. He tried to ask me to go to breakfast with him and make it feel more consensual. I was a freshman in college, I lost my mind and failed out. I blamed myself for years.
The last one I have a hard time speaking about, I still worry that some day I’m going to find it on the internet recorded on a hidden camera because that could look consensual but I was coerced and terrified. I used to hallucinate his face on other men who looked similar and have panic attacks.

I’ve had other experiences that were appalling but not rape. I was on the sidewalk in New York in a dress while a friend was hailing a cab and a random man ran up, jammed his hand up my skirt and grabbed my pussy, and ran away. Other people saw and didn’t react. I turned around and people in a phone store behind me were just staring and looked as stunned as I was. It was my birthday. I was a little drunk and I just shut down and never spoke about it.

At this point I’ve spent 3 months in inpatient psychiatric care for PTSD.

This is SO COMMON. It is insane that some men default to not believing women. Insane and appalling.

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@SweetFlipss @sphanna50 @IsabellaMDeLuca Thank you

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@Seehhowthisis33 @WaIterGroyper You didn’t block me. And I don’t think I have enough characters left in my bio

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@WaIterGroyper why the fuck did you add me to a list called Rape List

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@ZCablinsky44979 @KenFarmer I was a fucking kid

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

You have absolutely no idea what you would have done in my position. I was 16, 19, and 20. I was a teenager. You are an unbelievable piece of shit for saying that. Go fuck yourself.

If you were raped by a man, would you be in a hurry to go to the police? Or would you be dealing with the emotional consequences, the embarrassment, the denial?

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@ZCablinsky44979 @KenFarmer I have no doubt you’ve witness crimes that you didn’t report either. Maybe someone driving dangerously, seeming drunk.

You’re a colossal asshole to demand that of sexual assault victims.

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@kodeybryant @IsabellaMDeLuca You’re disgusting

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

I’ve done something similar and I also very much didn’t blame the guy or consider it rape. That happens.

But I also had an experience that if you’re being simplistic was “I went to a bar and left with a guy and woke up in his bed after having sex” but was actually a situation where I had one drink, was drugged, and have no memory until I woke up with him fucking me while I was unconscious. He turned out to be a drug dealer and he did not use a condom.

A lot of the guys in the comment section are very excited to see your state your experience and use it as a reason to negate mine, and other women’s.

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@FUUT0N @IsabellaMDeLuca I went to a bar and ended up having sex with a random guy. If you just heard that statement, you assume it’s regretful sex. You have to know more information to know that was very much fucking rape and utterly and completely involuntary.

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@monkeybananahh @IsabellaMDeLuca I wasn’t. I didn’t voluntarily take drugs. I didn’t know who he was and didn’t find out he was a drug dealer until afterwards.

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@dugdugdug23 @IsabellaMDeLuca Thank you. It really is nuts, when people open up a little and talk about their experiences it’s insane to see how common it is.

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@BBCorvette18 @TheLaurenChen Lmao I had one drink so I deserved to be raped while unconscious?

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

Unless I’m misunderstanding which is entirely possible you kind of sound like you believe it’s the civic duty of victims to come forward and relive their trauma and have their lives torn apart while being told by a large number of people that one of the worst experiences of their lives is a lie.

I was in denial. Most people are in denial. You don’t want to accept that someone took away your autonomy. You want to blame yourself or forget or convince yourself it’s ok and normal and was in your control by fucking everyone in your vicinity.

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@medal19472 @IsabellaMDeLuca I’m ok, tbh the inpatient psych care was life changing. I genuinely wish I had done it much sooner.

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@sphanna50 @IsabellaMDeLuca That’s because you don’t want to believe that this shit happens and is common. That’s my fucking life.

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@DriverHawk @lizisamused Idk, was he drunk?

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@idontcare120469 @zapatas_mom It’s very hard to go to the police when you are in denial and traumatized.I blamed myself, was in deep denial, because hypersexual with no sense of self preservation, I failed out of college. I was in no state to have my life dissected by the police.

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@goatmonty I was in deep denial and psychologically a completed mess. I blamed myself

[my unhealthy therapy account @TheRealEEast]

@Carlito54910961 @TheLaurenChen You are beyond disgusting. Why? Why would I lie about this? How do I benefit? How do I hurt them?