He's in the Order of the Gash!

You're a disaster, my guy

[turbomander (TWITCH AFFILIATE ERA) @turbomander]

i stole a gnome's hat once and he screamed loud as fuuuuuck 😂 i guess its connected to their nervous system or something lol

[Governor Tim Walz @GovTimWalz]

I’m using my executive authority to ban nonferrous mining in the Boundary Waters. 

As far as my administration is concerned, the fight for the future of the Boundary Waters is over. The verdict is in. The decision is made. We will protect this place.

[Josh Raby @JoshRaby]

It’s because the formerly cool website where everyone used to spend their time telling jokes and bullshitting about movies got purchased by a human sinkhole then turned into a machine that hands out nickels to the dumbest people on earth whenever they issue the wettest fart

[David AttenBruh @AlHendiify]

No one is more sociable than a mid class american with a highly infectious disease

[He's in the Order of the Gash! @TheRealScottyBJ]

Lost seasons ranked:

1. Season 3
2. Season 2
3. Season 4 (only for The Constant)
4. Season 1
5. Season 6
6. Season 5

This is objectively true and correct

[Sosa✧. @vvsosa]

A perfect pilot would land the plane

[Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 @cmclymer]

I really need Democratic lawmakers to understand that we're fed up with them simply posting on social media "this has to stop" without calling for specific actions to make it stop.

We know this needs to stop. We elected you. Tell us what needs to be done to make it stop.

[𝕷𝖚𝖈𝖎𝖋𝖊𝖗 @LucifersTweetz]

They dragged the Nazi Jake Lang out the building in Minneapolis. 🤣

[Heidi Stevens @HeidiStevens13]

I love how Trader Joe’s warns you that parking is for Trader Joe’s patrons only, as if anyone in their right mind would go near a Trader Joe’s parking lot if they had literally any other option

[He's in the Order of the Gash! @TheRealScottyBJ]

Yearly reminder

[He's in the Order of the Gash! @TheRealScottyBJ]

Uncle Frank was absolutely there on Jan 6th

[t✩ @yourg0ldteeth]

blocked everyone who isn’t in my steely dan musical. if you’re seeing this it means you’re in. rehearsal starts at 12pm tomorrow. please have the vocal harmonies of peg memorized.

[blue @bluewmist]

we have normalised overconsumption. listening to a podcast while we walk, scrolling reels in the toilet, listening to music while we cook, watching a show on Netflix while we eat. it’s as if there is NO breathing space for your mind. you’re constantly trying to fill the void, the stillness and yet here you’re complaining about feeling groggy and demotivated.

[He's in the Order of the Gash! @TheRealScottyBJ]

That's awesome! How did that turn out? Worked flawlessly I assume?

[He's in the Order of the Gash! @TheRealScottyBJ]

@esjesjesj And yet in a month she'll somehow have the #4 podcast on Spotify

[Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit]

Embarrassed to even look at this

[He's in the Order of the Gash! @TheRealScottyBJ]

@noonopenoo ...whiskey into my gullet

[He's in the Order of the Gash! @TheRealScottyBJ]

@47sOffice The army vet turned schoolteacher from one of the highest ranked states in education, healthcare, and living standards?

The guy who called out republicans for being weird and called Elon Musk a dipshit?

You think that was a horrendous pick?

Check ya head bro