me drink drunk

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

My favorite part of Santa Clause is when he starts getting fat and he weighs 192lbs. All his coworkers act like he’s a tub of lard who desperately needs help.

I’m the same height as Tim Allen. I weigh more than that. 🥴

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

Want the energy of this dude double fisting White Claws with a Fanny pack.

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

@PointsBetUSA Why can’t your live score be up to date. Seattle has had 9 points since the end of 1st half but the live score tracker still says 7 even at the 3:00 minutes left in the 4th quarter.

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

@DKSportsbook when will Game Tracker work again? Tired of watching games on ESPN and trying to make live bets behind.

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

Will Smith never won an Emmy? Ya’ll sleeping on the GOAT. Never seen Wild Wild West. Pshhhhh.

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

After years of denial I’ve finally succumbed to the truth; I only have two facial expressions. Resting bitch face or Smegal.

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

Couples who sit on the same side of the table: Who hurt you?

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

They really did trick us into eating sour cream and calling it Greek yogurt. Smh.

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

@Smallorymae Pretty sure you’re allowed more time, unpaid. But still.

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

#pacersgamenight

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

@MRceyrolles No

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

I can’t wait to frolic on the beach with someone I love.

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

Women finding men attractive is weird. Like less than 1% of us our hot. The rest are Shreks. Wth is wrong with y’all?

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

@PointsBetUSA #nameabet Russell Westbrook will attempt the first basket and miss

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

I don’t think there exists a bigger spoon than my peanut butter spoon 😂😂😂

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

I could die eating a chip right now. Emmarie wouldn’t understand at all. Megan probably wouldn’t put it together until she got the call from school and came over after work, worried. Love everyone while you can. Nothing is worth taking to the grave.

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

Here I thought I was a cynic...

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

Michele you are a good person.

[me drink drunk @TheRealTagid]

Imagine pouring your heart into something and it being played on lo-fi beats to study to because it’s so unintrusive that nobody even thinks about it. Yikes.