Kevin Bland

SEO since 1997. Owning the SERPs (within online carpet niche) @SERPpoo Evangelist.

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

If you ever feel bad about a mistake you've made, just remember that Will Smith turned down the role of Neo in The Matrix so he could make Wild Wild West.

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

Ed Sheeran is proof that if you just have some talent, and work hard, and stay humble, and be generous, and be polite, and have a great rags to riches story, and respect any culture that inspires your songs, and be by all accounts a stand up bloke, people will still hate you…

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

The swimming pool aboard the Titantic is still full.

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

Mr Incredible hooked up with Elastagirl because she’s probably the only female super he could have sex with without killing them by accident.

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

If Amazon used like .01% of their profit they could probably protect The Amazon

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

Fire requires oxygen. As such, a world without oxygen will never know what fire is. With that in mind, it’s very likely, with how big the universe is, that there’s a reaction that is very common on a planet, but we haven’t seen it because the element required is unknown

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

Since the arrival of smartphones, the popularity of reading the back of schampo bottles while pooping must have dropped significantly.

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

In 500 years a young archeologist is going to find someones preserved sketch book with crazy monsters, dark horror beings and evil Garfield sketches and spend his whole career trying to prove their existence.

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

Being sad or mad when you weren’t invited to something you didn’t want to go to is probably the most accurate representation of an introverts thoughts

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

Eslatagirl’s real superpower was in raising two toddlers who could vanish at will and run faster than the speed of sound respectively,

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

Given recent events, the 'Amazon Fire' line of tablets is perhaps in poor taste.

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

Eyelashes are made to prevent things from getting into eyes but most of the time when something gets into eyes it's an eyelash... eyeronic

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

Scientists are people who never got out of the "why?" phase as kids.

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

We are burning the wrong Amazon.

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

leggings are long sleeved panties

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

We cover the cameras on our laptops but don’t seem to care about the ones on our phones.

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

No one looks at your nose more than yourself.

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

The caveman who discovered fire is indirectly responsible for more destruction than any other person in history

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

You know when a movie/tv show/activity is good when you forget about your phone

[Kevin Bland @TheShtSEO]

Back in the old days, we had to make an effort to keep photos. Now we have to make an effort to delete them.