The Trainster

Frustrated Southern commuter. Usually moaning about delays & general travel-related irritations.

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

@TanyaPoppy @TLRailUK It’s been a while! 😂

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

Hi @TLRailUK, is there any reason the 17.04 Bedford to Three Bridges train didn’t stop at Horley? Well technically it did stop but the doors didn’t open so nobody could get on or off and it moved on to Gatwick.

No explanation or apology. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

Bike is in front of the door. Bike owner is halfway down the carriage. If it falls on me or is in my way when I need to get off it’s being ejected & kicked to pieces. #bikewanker

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

Deep heat, moth balls and BO is the erotic scent on my somewhat later train this morning. #commutersmells

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

As if listening to one side of a loud mobile conversation wasn’t irritating enough, the arsehole next to me is having a FaceTime.
Oh wait, apparently she need to “put some clothes on” & will call him back. I can hardly wait.

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

Everyone on this goddam train is either sniffing or snoring. Rage level 10/10.

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

The hot weather is certainly bringing out some interesting clothing - and non clothing - choices... #heatwave

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

Clapham platform guard is way too enthusiastic with his whistle this morning. He seems to be attempting to trying play a tune. My eardrums are shot to pieces.

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

@andrewlwbarnes So who did you choose?

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

@TrainDiaries @GeoCyberwolf Exactly. That poor guy is probably traumatised for life. His knee was properly spattered...

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

A handkerchief-less gentleman on my train just went into a loud sneezing frenzy & snotted on the leg of the guy next to him. The snottee was rightly outraged and the snotter horrified... I’m just glad I wasn’t sitting within sneeze distance.

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

@ChrisGrose2 Let’s face it, those people have one thing in common. They’re total arseholes.

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

Always good to see people making themselves at home on the train. What with this cretin and her stinky feet and now a middle aged couple unable to take their hands off each other.

Somebody please me the sick basket.

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

Yep, people really are this stupid...
*kicks the shit out of buggy*

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

A strong perfume wearer & a loud snorter are today’s travelling companions. Irritation levels rising...

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

@Teacake0912 @Swiss_uk May she remain forever in the land of Brum.

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

I’m on the happy campers express tonight. A fight nearly broke out on the platform. Now an argument has ensued after a loud mobile talker was shouted at to “fucking shut up”. To be fair we were all thinking it. She hadn’t drawn breath for 20 minutes. #commuterjoy

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

@FluffyRona Nicely done!

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

Ah so here we have a “sneak down beyond the yellow line & try to push in” wanker. I think not, my friend.

*Deploys cunning side-step with elbow-jab & rucksack-block manoeuvre.*

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

@Swiss_uk Oh for the love of god. WHY??

[The Trainster @TheTrainster]

@TrainDiaries That’s me. Every bloody night.