Tristan

He/Him || Tabletop-gaming, demo-building, story-telling product marketer.

Improviser with Unexpected Productions, 1/2 of Morris and Morris

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

It's puffin season
Marshmallows be eatin like a big boy
I need a big boy
Gimme a big boy

[Justin “Hoops” McElroy @JustinMcElroy]

I'm gonna wake up and keep trying to do good and so are you and nobody gets to vote on that.

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

One of my favorite things about every bank and credit card company offering free credit score monitoring is that it just pulls the curtain back so you can see it's all made up.

Four separate services this week have given me four different scores and analyses.

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

Please I know there has to be at least one social media intern at @Dreamworks who can make a dream come true.

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

So @Dreamworks I know I'm a little late but... Any chance I can get a camel?

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

We're excited to be launching this new platform to help Gartner unify the security industry around scrambling to say their products do anything that fits our forthcoming nebulous ideas.

Keep an eye out for next year's evolution of GaaS: Extended Gartner as a Service, or GaaS-X.

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

Asked AI if it could make me acronyms as vague as @Gartner_inc's. May I present my new product, GaaS (or Gartner as-a-service):

EGG - Encryption Governance Governance
Mr.T - Monitoring Response Threat
GPM - Governance Protection Monitoring
AVA - Access Visibility Authentication

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

She was a 90+ year old chain smoker. It took a junk company almost 2 weeks to clear out the house. The home needs to be torn down almost to studs and rebuilt in order to be livable.

Seven. Hundred. Thousand.

She didn't leave it to anyone, this is just free money for the state.

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

My elderly neighbor died in March. I used to help her around her place, stuff like fixing her front steps, reinforcing railings, keeping paths clear, just keeping her 118 year old house as safe as it could be for her.

It was just listed for 700k. The housing market is broken.

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

Mbmbam live memes that will make sense later @McElroyFamily @travismcelroy @paulandstorm

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

I hope @pocketcasts is paying attention to feedback about the new widgets. Almost unusable and incredibly bad design. Like... Look at this compared to the previous version. A downgrade in every way. Who approved this?

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

@Nerdpreneurpod @satinephoenix You platformed a historic abuser and didn't even do a fraction of the research you should have done, otherwise you'd know she was already a problem before Jamison, and was still an active problem WITH Jamison. This is not the "entrepreneur" you want to be taking lessons from.

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

@VaughnMatthews2 @ColorGray7 It only worked for me if I wiped the data, closed the game, re-opened and went directly to the DLC without touching anything else. Good luck!

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

Has anyone else using Google Messages lost the message categories feature? I see a few posts about it from September but I can't find anything official saying the feature was removed. I'd assume sites like @droid_life and @AndroidAuth would have reported on it if it were axed.

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

"But it's supposed to be showing the world time options!" you may say.

I don't think you can be in Tuesday in one time zone but Thursday in another.

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

It's embarrassing that in an official blog post highlighting adding a new combined time/weather widget, they 1) put it on the same screen as the non-removable time/weather At a Glance widget so it looks redundant, 2) didn't match the time or date between the two. @droid_life

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

@erikaheidewald You could go on and get the cheapest item possible, then tip the rest. That way they don't get to keep using your $15 as a free loan AND you keep them from getting the profit

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

@BenKuchera I set up a timer that vibrates the final fantasy level up rhythm on my watch every 15 minutes, just to remind me that time is passing.

Game changer.

[Tristan @TheTriscuit]

Just get everyone else to do all the work for you and then don't pay them! Also make sure you understand psychology and Maslow's hierarchy.