Trooper

I’m Trooper. I’m a boxer pitt mix, and my mom @finneyjr says I’m a big tall boy. My dad @bahnerffett says I’m very handsome. @TheSabineRees is my sister.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

#NewProfilePic #BitchesLoveMe

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

@HemsworthTheCat @Petco You are fat like @TheSabineRees.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

@natatat13 where is my girlfriend Lucy and boyfriend Adam? Send pics.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

I’m dreaming about chasing my sister around the backyard.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

I had to go to the vet today, because I have an ear infection. Now I have a bunch of goo in my earholes, and I’m passed out with my head wedged between two pillows. Oh, and I peed all over the kitchen and laundry room. I’m not doing so good at drugs. #dogsoftwitter

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

I’m just patiently waiting for the next #Dolphins pick. #NFLDraft

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

Whoa. Guys. Did you know that you can chew a deer’s antlers? It’s easier if they aren’t attached. Wow. So tasty. I love dis.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

Just thinking about how I haven’t gotten to ride in the car in weeks. Dis quarantine is not nice.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

@TheSabineRees You always steal mine. You are a rude sister.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

Just hanging out watching Mad Men with @TheSabineRees and dad.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

People might call me lazy, but you can’t look this good without beauty sleep.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

@TheSabineRees So true. We are even cute enough to steal mommy’s blanket. Thanks, momma— @finneyjr

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

My mom wants you all to know that I am a hot dog.

[Jessica Finney @finneyjr]

@TheTrooperRex Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog!

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

Watch out, ladies. Someone let the dog out, and I’m ready to smell some butts!

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

Mom is very comfortable.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

@TheSabineRees My pillow is really good, too.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

@foundersbrewing I like to drink out of my dad’s glass when he’s not looking. @BahnerFFett doesn’t share with me much. My mom doesn’t like it cuz I’m a dog. #DogsofTwittter

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

@HemsworthTheCat How do you know how to read? I’m just a dog. #DogsofTwittter

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

@HemsworthTheCat If you post spoilers on my feed again, I’m going to eat you this Saturday, you puny cousin cat.

[Trooper @TheTrooperRex]

When you’re this handsome, you get to steal dad’s spot on the couch.