Shit My Friends and Family Say

This is dedicated to nonsense that comes out the mouths of the people I love most.

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

(To the tune of Hot to Go) “H-O-T-D-O-G-S, I want hotdogs iiiiiin my ass.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“Holding a martini glass is like playing Mario Kart.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“We’re best friends, you can’t get rid of me no matter how much I toot.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

[drinking boba]
“I didn’t get any in my mouth”
“Suck harder.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“It isn’t boba unless you have something coming into your mouth.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“I love my butt wipes being minty.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“She has the post-poop zoomies.”
“NOT THE POOMIES!”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“I know fasting doesn’t work bc I fasted for some good dick and it was NOT good.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“Sorry I hit you. Blame the national anthem.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“If the tea isn’t boiling, I can’t pour it for the both of us.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“I love sweet tart ropes. It’s like chewing on electrical wires.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“S&M stands for Shrek and Milfs.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“I hate math more than I hate white people.” -my [white] sister

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“Every time I drink, I feel like my butthole gets looser.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“I think in a past life I was a rich Asian kid bc I love Asian food and I hate working.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“I wonder if furries are a thing in North Korea.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“No one enjoys a moist taint.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“Ok but like what if we 3D printed Rock Lee but with Dwayne Johnson’s head?”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“Remember my crow obsession? It’s capybara now.”

[Shit My Friends and Family Say @TheySaidWhat_23]

“If I ever become culinarily inclined, I’m naming my restaurant Im-pasta-ble.”