WHEN AN AVOIDANT SAYS "YOU DESERVE BETTER,"
THEY ARE LYING TO YOU
It sounds like a rejection. It feels like a devastating breakup.
But when an avoidant hits you with the classic "I can't give you what you need," it is actually a terrified confession of love.
Here is the brutal translation of what is screaming inside their head:1/7
she doesn’t tell anyone when she’s hurting anymore. Not her family. Not her friends. Not even the people closest to her. She’s learned how to cry quietly, wipe her own tears, and stand back up like nothing’s wrong. She laughs. She talks. She shows up. She does everything she’s supposed to do. But inside, she’s tired in a way that sleep can’t fix. Because no matter how much she needs someone, she doesn’t reach out anymore
i think genuinely smart people are usually much less attached to looking smart. they’ll ask the stupid question, change their mind and say “i don’t know.” intelligence survives embarrassment beautifully.