Broke Mess

And maybe you can rescue me.... from lunacy

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

I am obsessed with Wednesday Addams, however, I would still rank Queens Gambit slightly above it. If forced to choose.

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

Yeah I get drunk and read books sometimes. The eight of diamonds is my bookmark.

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

If a bitch is a dog, then a cat is a cunt. You’re welcome for the insight.

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

And I own a dog and I’m saying that

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

I feel like Lana del Rey has a lot of cat energy and that’s why I like her. Period.

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

But her UTI was real and the cranberry supplement did the trick. I wanna ☠️

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

I got this puppy hoping she would turn into some beautiful homegrown woman. And she has, but like the trauma we’ve been through together is unreal. Mostly just her health and me being a hypochondriac about it.

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

Okay if I’m too drunk to play ukulele, there’s a serious problem happening

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

Apparently I’m out of touch when it comes to beer pong lingo, wtf…

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

I love when I pick up a white claw and there’s still weight to it

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

I do wanna be clear though. I don’t have two children, my cat is my wife and the puppy is our dumbass child. I’m still a cat person.

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

Hi woah, before you ask my zodiac sign, do you have an Apple charger. Seriously.

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

Sorry to show up to you at 2:30 am but do you have an apple charger. Seriously.

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

Did I just squat and piss outside in my yard to show my puppy what to do. Yes. This is what we do outside. 🤷‍♀️

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

Turns out tanqueray makes me throw up. Sorry

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

Oh you have an orange cat named pumpkin? How coooooool 💀 Can’t wait

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

I can’t wait until the next time I watch Best In Show. Seriously

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

Okay aging is annoying and my teeth are pissing me off.

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

Dude the amount of people trying to be apart of our squad to play pool is insane and I hope you have a good night.

[Broke Mess @ThingsDaniSay]

I’m just mad at myself because I need to play poker smarter. That’s all.