Amy

Comedian. Twin Parent. Cycling when I get the chance 🚴🏼‍♀️

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

I just chatted to my neighbour for 5 minutes with large beads of white sunscreen-filled sweat running down my face after taking my kids to the park. Didn't realise till I got in. It looked...disgusting.

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

Cutting your kid's hair is like cutting a doll's hair but with the added worry of looking like a bad parent for a few weeks.

Might have accidently given both my toddlers this hair cut.

[Mark Simmons: UK Tour Now On Sale @JokesWithMark]

Football team talk ⚽️

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

Bumped into my cat today and instead of saying "hey fella" I said "hey fellow" and I don't know who I am anymore

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

Who would have thought if you hear the sound of a witch's cauldron in the back of your car it's actually two babies vomiting in unison.

#twinparent #parentsofmultiples

[🗡️Jess Jewell🗡️ @jess_jewell]

🚨 URGENT 🚨 has anyone in London lost their open tupperware full if beans? Because I have found your open tupperware full of beans.

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

@carlbergcomedy Think she was one step away from this process

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

Took some carved stone ornaments to a charity shop and the woman there was really happy. She kept rubbing them and saying "they're really tactical, do you know what I mean?". I said yeah but days later I still don't know what she meant.

[Richard K Herring @Herring1967]

Kids will probably love this kids’ film, but I am a sophisticated adult and I found it a bit childish. 1 star. I will spend my pay cheque for this with real pride.

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

@rosymaydancer Don't mind me, just defeating Reshala with my tactical stone ornaments

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

@carlbergcomedy I'm guessing 11,607 people have accidentally called you Jim Carlsberg

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

If you see someone with twins and you say "double trouble" you are not the first person to say that. You are the 10,582nd person.

#twinparent #parentsofmultiples

[Super Hans @no_context_Hans]

The only man who could replace Gary Lineker on Match of the day!!!!!

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

@rosymaydancer I love how multiple Frods arrived 🐸

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

"Ribbit amplification"

[girly&wordly @Brieyonce]

Allow me to introduce you to the most ridiculous yet amazing thing you will see this week.

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

Me when I move my babies' high chairs after giving them toast for breakfast:

#twinparent #parentsofmultiples

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

@peppermintsue Boardwalk Empire!

[Amy @ThisIsAmyJay]

Anyone else say "Would you like some Nuggy Thompsons?" when they are about to cook some nuggets?

[Lauren Layfield @LaurenLayfield]

We’re Just Innocent Men x Tenacious D.

The collab I never knew I needed!