Badd Bryant

Adjunct Prof of Sexonomics - Harvard. PH.D Applied Fluid Dynamics.
Dick jokes, elevated.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

Badd Facts: Women, at a bar, only buy men drinks in my life and in fuck flicks.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

I feel like if I don’t wear a ball-cap backwards you won’t take my choice of Americans light lager seriously Miss Bartender.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

*eats popcorn and immediately get stuck in teeth* *society crumbles* *humans devolve* *sun goes supernova early engulfs earth* *fin* @kr0matiq

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

@kr0matiq hey it’s your new bf.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

It's hilarious. Basically, any woman I meet is "basic." Because, once you meet me, basically we are gonna sex-thurst over a dive bar bathroom sink while the bartender sets up your 3rd Jamieson & pickleback.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

Well, fuck! Now who's QAnon gonna rely on to finish the investigation? After 4 years, there should be plenty of proof and 1000s of cabal indictments are just weeks away, though.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

Once sent a nude to this chick that was so hot it melted her phone and burned through the ground to the center of the earth where a mole person found it & CAME HARD.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

Sitting at a random Chicago bar if anyone wants to stop by and see how devastatingly handsome I am. Just follow the poon.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

Nostalgia is so incredibly stupid because you delicate porcelain figurines can't accept that you will die one day. *Sobs* I miss "Wizards of Waverly Place" so much!!!

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

Watching a WNBA game and I was asked which player did I fuck and I didn't have a answer. I just shrunk in my seat, as vulnerable as a toddler lost in the Sahara desert, without water.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

On a date with a QAnon cutie and I asked what was the right-wing sect of the whole child sex slave called cuz if you have one there must be the other: She then unzipped her b-hole and then then zipped herself back up into the void.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

Karen was the only women ever to find her to way back to my house, so I don't get why everyone always talks shit about her.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

@iAmJuddy Read my doctoral thesis. It's a real page turner.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

.@mcdonalds Some bitch just cancelled my frat bro Dr Drunkenstein for some old bs and he's sobbing and won't even drink his brew. Do u think if I showed him my dick he would cheer up???

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

My "escape room" is easy to solve & very satisfying but impossible to find again. And for some reason this leave women absolutely inconsolable and wailing until they are dry of tears.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

Faux woke in the streets, to get you in the sheets.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

@arwenlothbrok I need to see pics of your mom to see if you age badly, first. It's part of my process.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

My brother is over 45 and still wears a ballcap, sneakers and a hoodie but I still love him. I just don't let him know whenever family gatherings occur. Everyone agrees with me.

[Badd Bryant @ThisIsBadd]

Your DM of your stretch mark side-boobs while your husband cooks dinner for your kids is totally hot & amusing but achingly depressing at the same time. Like a clown that cums at Holocaust porn.

[Juddy @iAmJuddy]

Just talked to someone who disagrees with me. We had a conversation, both agreed to disagree, still love and respect each other and we’re getting together with our kids at the lake so they can swim and have fun. OMG WHAT A FUCKED UP CONCEPT. Clearly we are the problem, not you.