Local Man

THIS IS LOCAL MAN HEADLINE NEWS

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LOCAL MAN THWARTS SEATBELT

[Local Man @ThisIsLocalMan]

LOCAL MAN FINDS BATHROOM HAND DRIERS "USEFUL"

[Local Man @ThisIsLocalMan]

LOCAL MAN HAS TROUBLE PRONOUNCING "PAMPHLET"

[Local Man @ThisIsLocalMan]

LOCAL MAN ALMOST CAUGHT MASTURBATING BY UNCLE

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LOCAL MAN TRIPS ON ELEVATED SIDEWALK, BEGINS TO JOG, PREVENTS EMBARRASSMENT

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LOCAL MAN SOARS ACROSS JUNGLE GYM

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LOCAL MAN NOT QUITE SURE

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LOCAL MAN CAUSES DISCOMFORT AT LUNCHEON AFTER CLAIMING HITLER "WASN'T THAT BAD OF A GUY IN THE BEGINNING"

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LOCAL MAN HAS SEX WITH WOMAN DEEMED "NOT THAT CUTE" BY CO-WORKERS

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LOCAL MAN RESCUES PORPOISE ENTHUSIAST

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LOCAL MAN REFUSES TO DEAL WITH FAYGO

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LOCAL MAN ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHES COWORKER'S BREAST WHILE REACHING FOR COOKIE, REALLY SORRY

[Local Man @ThisIsLocalMan]

@hubrisbreal PERHAPS HE SHOULD "TEACH A CLASS" OR "WRITE AN ARTICLE" OR "FIND HIS PENIS"

[Local Man @ThisIsLocalMan]

LOCAL MAN IS "PRETTY SURE" HE TURNED OFF THE STOVE BEFORE LEAVING HIS HOUSE

[Local Man @ThisIsLocalMan]

LOCAL MAN IMMEDIATELY REGRETS MILK DUD PURCHASE

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LOCAL MAN MISQUOTED IN ARTICLE, SAYS HE *DOES NOT* FIND EGGPLANTS ATTRACTIVE

[Local Man @ThisIsLocalMan]

LOCAL MAN SHAMEFULLY ORDERS SOY MILK

[Local Man @ThisIsLocalMan]

LOCAL MAN SETS WORLD RECORD FOR MOST APOLOGIES IN 4 MINUTE CONVERSATION WITH BARISTA

[Local Man @ThisIsLocalMan]

LOCAL MAN EXTREMELY IMPRESSED BY HOARDERS NODS IN APPROVAL

[Local Man @ThisIsLocalMan]

LOCAL MAN SIEZES GRAPES FOR YOUNG WIFE