mackenzie

no trust fund, 5’5, green eyes.

[Buck @BuckOnTwidder]

there are guys on here who don’t know how to cook themselves eggs trying to trade oil against Citadel

[B @ParmaJawnCheese]

I want to thank the Irish for inventing my favorite way to exit a function

[死 @humanxmaybe]

whatever needs to be said was said in Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls

[🅿️ @the_P_God]

I know Neal Caffrey was behind this. I just can’t prove it.

[don ✨ @ddpain_]

Not like us for white women incoming

[holl @UTEROCOBAIN]

The life of a showgirl is as if Dubai, matcha, pistachio chocolate, colleen hoover books, and labubus all had a baby with AI

[mackenzie @throwitMack]

Go hometown! That’s my hometown!

[Quantіan @quantian1]

Prosper TX school district has more debt than 53 sovereign nations, what municipal finance does to a mfer

[maha @mahaaaay]

hello sharks. i am asking for a day between sunday and monday

[Hero Thousandfaces @1thousandfaces_]

What the actual fuck is the point of a private jet then

[nyx @aaronrrey]

i lost my job chapstick n now my car chapstick is in my work bag n my room chapstick is in my car n everything is just a fucking mess

[mackenzie @throwitMack]

@BacardiCapital @BillAckman gheav or die.

[grass @keepoffgrasss]

hey sorry i let u have my phone number i just realized i have zero interest getting to know you as a person

[crybaby 🖤 @normietrashbmbo]

This or nothing

[$ @Hnzdz]

I should've bought a house in 2007 instead of cranking that Soulja Boy

[S @sageyblanco]

we accept New Year’s Eve as the time of reflection but it’s really end of August

[mackenzie @throwitMack]

what i learned at the US Open:
1) i could beat them.
2) those ball boys/girls have to be kinky as hell. run around. chase that ball. be quiet. kneel down. get. on. your. back.

[mariah @killmeorshutup]

an ugly man serial liking your instagram stories feels like being chased in the woods

[mia @girlultrastan]

i would make a spotify blend with a squirrel if i could