THE Tim Commandments

Welcome to the ginger bible. I am the ginger haired jesus.

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

Sometimes I don't even spit. #TeamNoForeplay #slamminsalmon

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

Can you ship me to China to find a hot Asian wife? #mailorderTim #whatcanbrowndoforyou

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

Suck the titties, sign the track marks. #howmanylicks #roadmaptosuccess

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

"You could try stuffing it in there." "Yeah that's what Dad does best!" #TeenChoice #PatriotAct

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

Alright I'm just going for the 2 spot. #letsgetdowntobusiness #twospotaintfree

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

We're definitely going to Eiffel tower her on the wedding day though. #bestman

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

They're good til they're retired. #cougarhunting #Timcommandment

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

Sometimes even the stranger gets too familiar... #sadDad

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

"What're you guys doing over there?" "I'm finger banging her asshole." #allinthestink #chakra

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

Dad was probably just trying to get his D wet. #toostonedtobone #firsttimers

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

I've gone to deep! #DadDown #donthaveaseizure

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

I'll give you my ass before I give you my Oreos. #celebrityshot #MilkBoy

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

You know that means you're into anal right? #backwardshat #April18 #NeverForget

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

Alright, it's time to mount. #likeadoginheat

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

I'll moisten my own cookies, thank you. #dampeningladiesundergarments

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

You're designated crack spreader. #paintmygooch

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

I don't think I have enough dick for two butts. #celebrityshot #onesizefitsall

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

I've got a one seat amusement park ride. #mustacheyouaquestion

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

It's like an Eskimo kiss. #nasalpenetration

[THE Tim Commandments @TimCommandments]

That's the key to her heart. #birthdaybuttstuff