Timesteader

Buy Time

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Time Travel News Alert for April 30, 1945: Teenager bags record-sized Hitler using rusted rebar asphalt spike!

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Timeline Modification Directive for April 20, 1979: Release heat-seeking swamp rabbit at President Jimmy Carter #timetravel

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Time Travel Forecast for October 9, 1954: Please get permission from Temporal Governor @ScottBakula before observing his birth.

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Are you a time traveler trying to find the perfect canine companion for your temporal adventures? We can help! Timesteader Lifestyle presents: Top 10 Dog Breeds for Time Travelers

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

If you miss the future this time, don’t worry—it’ll be back!

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Daily Future Fact 002

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Time Travel News Alert for November 22, 1963: Do not go on illegal 29th century tours of JFK assassination! #JFKassassination

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Daily Future Fact 001 #future

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Daily Future Fact 000 #future

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

@bunsenbernerbmd It also works if you step on the dog’s groin. Fact.

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

@BeatTheCult Non-linear time travel is 100 percent a thing though

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

@Science49983464 Yeah, sorry, that was us. We’re trying to get back to 1987 to scare Nancy Reagan…for a thing…we’re working on. Just ignore it if you see it again

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

@fakerylertowe We agree. It can’t ALL be cringy videos of teenagers dancing!

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Time Travel Flash Alert! Warning: There’s a nonzero percent chance the Kangaroo are 1/21’s Animal of the Day 😰 KEEP YOUR CHILDREN/PETS AWAY FROM LARGE MAGNETS!! @Kangaroos

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Timeline Modification Directive for Jan. 13, 2002 - Deliver Pretzels to President George W. Bush at White House (Codename: Knot My President) @AuntieAnnes

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

@WallStreetSilv @curtis_kruger You don’t get to pick the Animal of the Day. WE get to pick the Animal of the Day.

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Time Travel Forecast for Dec. 22, 2005: The Penguin are Animal of the Day

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Tertiary Time Claim established (TC001:TE176(0):00:309)

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

Time Modification Directive for August 16, 1933: Intercept an octopus and replace it with an imposter octopus prior to its wresting match with a teenage girl!

[Timesteader @Timesteader]

OCTOPUS POISON NEEDED! If you are located in Temporal Expanse 174, one of our affiliates needs to borrow some octopus poison before we can alter the timeline. Please respond if you are able to assist and we will give you make sure you receive credit in the TMD transmission.